


Please Remember

by kipnotize



Series: Meetings and Partings of the Beloved [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-21 20:22:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kipnotize/pseuds/kipnotize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi's spent most of his life searching for Eren, but after finding him also finds out that Eren doesn't remember anything about their past lives- and he doesn't remember Levi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. After all this time...

Eren's POV

I reread the letter, then stuffed it in my bag. Something about how all Freshmen needed a Senior to help them 'adjust' and shit like that. Whatever. I would probably forget until the last moment when Armin reminded me.

I sighed, then decided that it would require too much effort to get up and order a coffee, so I waved to Jean behind the counter.

"Yes dickhead?" 

"I'm not in the mood shitstick. Just get me my usual coffee and maybe I'll tip you extra."

"You never tip."

"Because you never get it right. Now go, my head feels like its going to explode." I sighed again as Jean walked away looking annoyed. This was my favorite coffee shop, but recently Jean was hired and we didn't get along too well. Meh. 

I pulled out my laptop and logged into the free wifi before goofing around on YouTube. I really came here to work on a paper that was due, but what fun would it be if I didn't stay up till early in the morning rushing it?

I looked around for Jean, he was taking forever. I finally saw him walking up to me, but the he stopped and set my coffee down just out of reach. I let out something like a growl, forced to get up to pick up the cup. Honestly, as far as I was aware I never did anything to him, but the first time I saw him it was like he had some kind of grudge towards me.

As I sipped my coffee (which was actually pretty good this time), I thought over that. It happened a lot to me, I would meet someone for the first time and they would act as if they new me forever. Usually they would give some shit for an excuse like 'you reminded me of someone I knew' but I just ignored them all. After all, it would happen to me too sometimes, I would feel an overwhelming sense that I knew someone or that something was missing, the latter especially in the mornings right after waking up.

I mentioned it to Armin once and he kind of freaked out, asking what my dreams were about or if I ever had the urge to bite my hand. It kind of weirded me out, so I never mentioned it after.

Dragging myself from my thoughts, I ran a hand through my hair before deciding to start the paper. Sometimes sleep was good, too.

~~~~  
Armin's POV

"I don't know, okay! It just hadn't come up before so I thought that you had already heard about it from Eren!" I was on the phone with Mikasa, whom I had just told that Eren was starting to get the feeling that he was missing something. As far as I could tell, everyone but Eren remembered...the past... And Mikasa had put it down as trauma and nothing else. 

We had tried to trigger his memory before, introducing him to other members of his past squad. Hanji almost blew the whole thing when she asked Eren if he still regenerated, by luckily I don't think Eren really processed what she said. Just now, Mikasa had called me to tell me that she had recently spotted our past Corporal walking around campus, and wanted to know if I had seen him yet. I told her that I hadn't, then had wondered aloud if the Corporal was what Eren felt was missing in his life, since they had definitely had something close.

"If I had known that Eren was getting thoughts like that, I would have come over immediately and, and, and..." Mikasa was practically yelling, but quieted down near the end of her sentence as she trailed off.

"And what, exactly? Shoved a pair of swords in his hands? Thrown him in a tree to see if he would remember the feeling of using 3DMG? Maybe you would have drawn him a picture of a titan? There's nothin we can do! We're lucky that everyone else remembers, and maybe Eren just has to remember by himself!" I was really upset now, more at my own uselessness than at Mikasa.

"...no, you're right. But maybe.. Do you really think that the Corporal would jog Eren's memory? He didn't even react when he met you, and you grew up with us back then!"

I sighed. "Mikasa, you know just as well as me that Eren thought of the Corporal in a very different light than we did. The two were practically dating, even if you don't want to admit it. It could work!"

I could hear Mikasa thinking it over, her thoughts were that explosive. She never had liked the idea of the Corporal getting close to Eren, but I honestly thought hat it had been cute.

"Fine. I'm going to come over tomorrow during Eren's last class, will you be able to help me find the Corporal then? We could try to convince him to see Eren...if he remembers..."

I agreed to her plan and made the last arrangements with her before hanging up and collapsing on the couch. Eren would be home soon, and he probably didn't sign up for the Senior-Freshmen program, so I would have to help him with that later.

~~~~~  
Levi's POV

When I got home, I immediately called Erwin.

"I saw Ackerman today."

"Did you talk to her?" Came the instant reply. We hadn't met anyone else from our past lives besides Petra, and she hasn't remembered any of it.

"No. I only glimpsed her. She still wears a red scarf. I swear it was fucking identical to the one she had before."

I heard laughter, then swallowed before pressing on to the real reason I had called. "Do you think.. That if Ackerman is here that he would also be here?"

I didn't have to say his name, and the laughter died instantly. Erwin was the only one that I had told about my relationship with Eren, and he understood that it went much deeper than just a silly crush on the cute titan-shifter. 

There was silence on the phone for a while before he answered. And when he did, his voice was full of doubt. "..ya. I'm sure he is."

I sighed, then finished up the conversation and sat down at my table to do some work. Here I was a Senior, and even though I hasn't been working for long, I was already very well off.

A thought had occurred about a week ago to me, just a silly whim, but I had gone with it anyways. Now, a knock came at my door, and I opened it up to let in the person who was supposed to carry through with my thought. 

We sat down at the table I had just been at and he introduced himself as Dr..... Something. I already had forgotten his name. 

"Well Mr. Rivaille, you've got a pretty big imagination there. This may take some time, but I think I can work out the mechanics of it."

I looked at him with distaste, I really hated being looked down on because I was younger and shorter than him. "It's not hard. It's powered with gas. You use you're weight to shift the direction."

The man at my table looked at me in surprise. "Shift your weight on what?"

"Tch. Did you even look at the picture I sent you? On the harness, what else?" I stood up and went into my room, coming back with a copy of the picture I sent him.

"Do you think that something like this is even plausible? Sounds like a kid's dream if you ask me. I mean seriously? Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear? Even the name is ridiculous!"

"Yes, it is indeed plausible and has been done before. As for the name, it simply states what it is. I didn't come up with it. Now about the blades, there's a specific type o metal you need to use so that they're flexible enough-"

"Flexible? Why on Earth do you want flexible blades? Are you even old enough to handle these things? You'll probably kill yourself..."

My eyebrow twitched, and my glower deepened. "Exactly how old do you think I am?"

The man immediately felt the change in tone and looked up only to meet one of my famous death glares. "Well, I don't know, you're just so short..."

That was it. I would find someone else to make me some 3DMG. I stood up, put away the picture, and kicked the man out the door as politely as I could. Which wasn't very polite.

~~~~~  
(Still Levi's POV)

The next day was long, and I couldn't help but to spend every moment of it on the look or for Eren. I was heading home, looking just a bit more pissed off than usual since someone had almost spilled their drink on me earlier, when I heard shouts.

"Corporal!" I turned around to see Ackerman and Arlert running up to me, looking like they had been chasing me for a while. When they reached me, they immediately fell into the salute that I hadn't seen in what felt like forever. I froze for a moment, out of shock that they remembered, before returning the salute. They both looked incredibly relieved that I remembered, and exchanged a glance before Arlert spoke up. 

"Corporal, sir, we're glad you remember, but we have a favor to ask. We know that you had something ...special...With Eren-" 

My head snapped up at the mention of Eren, and I interrupted the blond with my own question. "Where is he?!" I meant to sound demanding, but I detected a stray strand of despair in it as well.

"That's what we're trying to tell you sir. He lives with me and is a Freshman here-"

I once again cut him off. "Can I see him?!"

Arlert glanced at Ackerman before continuing. "...he doesn't remember..."

I froze. "What? What did you say Arlert? Because I'm pretty damn sure that out of anyone Eren would remember!" I was panicking now. What if I met him again, but then he didn't even like me? What if he dismissed me or thought I was weird or cruel or cold? What if... What if...

Ackerman shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Sir, we've tried everything to get him to remember, but he just doesn't. Lately though he's said that something feels wrong and he thinks that something's missing, and we were hoping that it was you and that maybe the sight of you would trigger something..."

My heart pounded at the thought of Eren feeling like something was wrong because I was missing, and I had to stop it from going straight to my pants. "If that is the case Ackerman, please let me see him..."

The two looked relieved. Armin stepped forward and began to tell me his plan. Apparently there was an option for requesting a Freshman in the Senior-Freshman program if the Senior was able to provide the Freshman's first and last names. If all went accordingly, Eren would meet me in a normal setting, which would hopefully help.

As I fell asleep that night, I wondered how I would be able to stay away from Eren that long.


	2. Hello

Eren's POV

It's official. I am 100% sure that Armin is the bestest friend in the history of the universe. Not only did he walk me through the notes that I had failed to take that week, but somewhere along the line he took the time to sign me up for the Freshmen-Senior thingie. I have no idea where he got the time, but apparently he thought it was important.

"I only hope that it'll be good for you." Was the only reply I had gotten when I had thanked him. Sometimes I didn't completely get what he was talking about, but whatever.

Now he was dragging me out of bed, quite literally.

"Eren get up! You have to meet with the Senior you've been paired with in half an hour!" He added a bit of emphasis on the last part as he finally managed to yank my out of bed.

"Ow.." I muttered as my head hit the floor. "Gaaahhhhh..... Do I have to go?" I was really not in the mood for doing shit right now.

"Yes! You have to! Now get up and get ready and go!" Armin left the room as he saw me get up and head to my closet, a sign that I wouldn't just dive back under my covers for another hour. Groaning, I got dressed before heading down stairs.

I made myself some toast (which was only slightly burnt) before throwing on my favorite brown jacket and heading out the door. It wasn't actually that cold, but it would be later that night, and I had made plans with Mikasa to hang out after I did whatever the heck I was supposed to do with the Senior.

\-----  
Levi's POV

I tapped my foot impatiently, glancing at the clock for what was probably the hundredth time. I was supposed to meet Eren in five minutes, but I had been there for the past half hour. Shit I was obsessed with that boy...

I was dragged from my thoughts when the door opened, making the little bell chime merrily. My heart started beating progressively faster, and my breathe caught in my throat as I watched Eren enter the coffee shop Arlert had set up for us to meet in. 

He was so similar to back then... His hair looked like a complete mess, but I knew that if I ran a hand through it it would be unbelievably soft. He was still about ten centimeters taller than me, which somewhere in the back of my mind I was annoyed at. 

And his eyes... Those were exactly the same, huge balls of emotion the color of... I always had a hard time putting down a color for Eren's eyes. Aqua? Something more green? Something more blue? Fuck, they were beautiful.

I tried hard not to stare as Eren approached me, barely succeeding. 

"Umm, hey, are you... Levi? I mean there's no one else here so-"

"Yes. And I take it your Eren?" It took every ounce of my willpower not to take him in my arms and cry to him about how goddamned much I missed him, and every strand of my being protested at pretending to not know him, but if he didn't remember me...

Eren looked me over once before giving me a bit off a funny look, as if he were calculating something. "... You're really short, even sitting down..."

I took a moment to respond, collecting myself. "And you're fucking tall. This is a table, and over there is a clock. Are we done now?"

Eren blushed slightly, and I almost jumped him right then and there. "So... I do some kinda study thing with you right?" 

"No, we're going to go see a fucking movie. Yes, I'm supposed to help you study. The way this works is just that you come to meet me once or twice a week, and supposedly it helps you with your grades. So I'm going to need your phone number." I hoped I wasn't pushing it, but I really wanted his number...

"Ahh.. Right... Here we go... He pulled his phone out and found some info in it before writing down his number and handing it to me. I immediately brought out my phone and composed a message to him. 

"Oi." The message went through, and I felt a surge of happiness that I was given his number that easily.

Eren saved my number before putting his phone away and sitting down. Once he had, he glanced at me without looking me in the eyes. It kinda bugged me that the brat didn't remember, but I could tell that he was already crushing on me, and I had to suppress a smirk. 

'Stupid brat. I've already been through this process of your fucking awkwardness once..' I thought as Eren told me about the classes he was taking. He was still on the fence on what he wanted to do when he grew up, but knew he wanted to do something 'cool' and with a lot of action. Thinking about his previous role in the Survey Corps, I doubted that he would find what he wanted at the present.

"What do you want to do?" The question startled me from my thoughts, and I wondered when I had gotten completely lost in them.

"What I already do. I'm head of a corporation my friend and I started a few years back. He quit last year to pursue his other interests, making me the head of it all." I smirked at his amazed face, wondering how I could have gone this long without seeing it. We talked some more about odds and ends, and we were getting ready to go when a piece of paper fell from Eren's bag. When I bent down to get it, I froze.

On the paper, someone had drawn a nearly perfect sketch of the Colossal Titan. I picked it up, examining it closer.

"Oi, brat. Did you draw this?" If he was drawing titans, did that mean he remembered bits and pieces?

"Uhh...ya. I usually can't remember my dreams, but the other night I remembered this thing when I woke up. I didn't really want to forget it, and I was bored, so ummmm ya...." He scratched the back of his neck, looking mildly uncomfortable. 

I handed the paper back to Eren, pretending to not be freaking out. When we parted ways, though, I went back and ran through what he said in my mind.

'If he can't remember his dreams, except for that one titan, could that mean that all of his dreams are from our past lives?' It wouldn't surprise me, it had happened to Erwin the first 15 years of his life. 

And if he remembered his dreams, would he remember me?

\-----  
Eren's POV

"And he had these eyes that practically said, 'I'm in a shitty mood so fuck off', and and and oh yeah he was REALLY short, I mean there must have been like a 100cm difference between us!" I had been rambling on about Levi since I had met up with her, and while she didn't look thrilled to hear me go on and on, Mikasa didn't object.

"Ten centimeters. It was ten." She surprised me by speaking up, though she had a point, it probably was like exactly ten centimeters.... Wait, what the fuck?

"How do you know?" She widened her eyes a bit like she was surprised I had noticed her comment, then simply stated that 100cm was pretty unrealistic, and that it would make more sense to move the decimal point over a bit. I wasn't completely satisfied with her answer, by I let it go.

When we arrived at the movie theatre we usually came to when we hung out, Mikasa let me pick the movie like always. It actually looked pretty good this time, but during the movie, I just couldn't focus.

All I could think about was Levi, the way he had held his drink, the way he had been so blunt. It was like he didn't give a fuck for anything in the entire world, and part of me saw that as a challenge. The other part just wanted to be the exception.

When I replayed our meeting, I realized that I had probably acted like a complete fool. I had been immediately stunned by him, then came a feeling that I knew him from somewhere, but I couldn't remember from where. I probably just had seen him around, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

And when he had seen the picture of the monster I drew, his eyes grew even more intense; as if I could actually handle them before. In any case, I definitely looked forward to my studies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to do a chapter a day, so be excited!! And I promise it'll get better, just wait


	3. Shitty Brat

Armin's POV

"Holy shit Eren, I swear you're shaking the car." I was getting slightly annoyed with Eren's fidgeting, but I was happy that my friend was happy. 

Ever since Eren and Corporal Levi arranged their first study session, Eren had not stayed still for more than five minutes. It was so obvious that Eren had a crush on the Corporal, but I wasn't surprised. I remember Eren being like this for a while in our previous lives as well, but this time around it was only a small matter of time before Corporal Levi was sure to make an advance on him. I had seen those two together in our past lives, and I remember thinking how much my Corporal cared for my friend. I was honestly surprised he hadn't already told Eren that he liked him.

I knew that he had to have noticed it as well, even if they had only met once. Especially if Corporal Levi had been looking for the signs that Eren was crushing on him, which I was sure he was. However, I also know that Corporal probably wants Eren's memories back just as much as I do, if not more, so there is a possibility that he is waiting to see if he could get the situation to come together naturally to see if it triggered anything. Maybe Corporal Levi wanted to see if he could get it to happen exactly as it had before, but only him, Eren, and Hanji would know exactly how that happened. I have no idea why Hanji was on that list.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Eren became restless again, crossing and uncrossing his legs while he clenched his hands together in his lap. "Sorry.." He mumbled. "...I'm just so nervous..."

"Honestly Eren. It's pretty obvious that you like him, but something tells me that he won't be upset." I had been trying to convince him of this ever since Mikasa and I had been able to easily guess the cause of his fidgeting, but Eren wasn't listening.

"I.. I don't know, Armin. Levi just seems Ike the kind of person who doesn't care about having a relationship with someone, and if he did he definitely wouldn't be gay. That, and the there's the fact that its embarrassing that I met the guy once and I have this huge crush in him." I wanted to mumble something about being surprised at his gay comment, but I held it in.

Beside me, Eren groaned as he watched our destination grow closer. They had chosen an old coffee shop that Corporal Levi had known about, and it actually looked really cozy.

I pulled up and waited for Eren to get out. He didn't. 

"Eren, come on. Do you really want to be late?" Eren groaned again, unclenched his fists, and got out of the car. For both his sanity and mine, I hoped that Corporal didn't wait long to tell him that his feelings weren't one sided.

~~~~~~~

Levi's POV

Fuck. How the hell am I supposed to not jump him when he walks in? Ackerman had suggested that I wait to see if his memories come back, but I honestly don't think that I can. I mean, I want his memories back just as much as anyone else, but it's so hard to fall asleep thinking that Eren was probably freaking out over me when he had no reason to.

In our past lives, Eren had accidentally let it slip during one of Hanji's questionings that he liked me, and after that he had turned bright red and run from the room. I was just happy to have chosen that particular day to listen to Hanji's interrogation. 

After I managed to convince him that I wasn't going to beat the shit out of him for liking me, I had gone and made both the worst and best decision of my life(s?) and I had kissed him. Later Hanji revealed to me that she had known for some time that he liked me and that she was wondering when he was going to go crazy from keeping it locked up. Since she had known that I had liked him for a while, I was pissed at her for not telling me.

Ever since then I've felt guilty about treating him worse than the dirt beneath the shoes instead of acknowledging that I liked him sooner, and I so wanted to make it up to him in this life. But I made a deal with Ackerman. If I waited one week, the she wouldn't press the subject further. So far it had been two days since we made this deal, and I was already thinking of backing out of it.

I sighed, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. Eren was late, as expected, but I had to make a phone call anyway. I pulled out my cellphone and dialed the number I had scratched down earlier.

"Oi. Are you done yet?" There was a pause before the answer came, and when it did it sounded mildly confused.

"Excuse me, who is this?"

I rolled my eyes, but continued without pause. "Levi. The one who wanted the 3 Dimensional Maneuver Gear. Is it done yet?"

Another pause. "Oh, you. Ya, I just finished yesterday. Sure was cool. It should have shipped sometime this morning." Good. I hung up, not bothering to finish the conversation. I had finally found someone who could make me 3DMG, and the waiting had made me realize how much I missed it. 

I was just debating whether or not to call Eren when the door opened and he hurried in. He paused before seeing me, then, blushing slightly, made his way over to my table after he had ordered a coffee.

"Umm.. Hi. Sorry for being late." He looked at his feet, looking so fucking cute.

"Tch." I swallowed, not 100% happy with the old nickname but still hoping to trigger some sort of memory recovery, then continued. "At least try to be punctual you shitty brat."

Eren froze. I swear he did. He froze, looking mildly lost, then angry. Still blushing, though. "I'm not a brat!"

It was so, so hard not to chuckle just a bit at his response. Some things never change, I suppose. "Whatever. Now, are you going to remain standing or are we going to actually study?"

Eren hurried towards a seat while mumbling something resembling an apology, and then we actually did study. Well, we tried to. Eren was constantly fidgeting and glancing at me, and I was having a hard time not to express even a bit of care towards him. 

That was the other part of the deal. I had to act like I did when he first joined the Survey Corps, minus the violence, which Ackerman couldn't stand. All the name calling, disapproving looks, and hard work was there when he first fell for me so apparently it was supposed to help. Honestly, I would rather just screw up the deal and tell him now, but seriously, Ackerman's terrifying.

Before we headed our seperate ways, I decided to stretch the boundaries just a bit though, and I ruffled his hair as I stood up. He turned an even darker shade of red, completely forgetting what he looked like he was going to say. 

"Later, brat. Before I go though, you wouldn't happen to have that picture of the monster from your dream, would you?" For the first time since when he first arrived, his eyes met mine and I probably would have gotten lost in them had he not replied to my question.

"Uhh. Ya." He took it out, and I slid out my phone and took a picture of it to show Erwin later before actually asking if that was okay. Eren looked away and muttered something to the ground.

"Oi, brat. One last thing. For our next study thing, do you want to come over to my house? I'm free Saturday." How red can someone get? I had forgotten how much I loved that expression of his...

"I'm not a brat..."

"What?"

"... Nothing. Ya, Saturday's fine." I gave a quick nod before turning my back and leaving him still standing there looking lost and very embarrassed.

When I got into my car, I dumped myself onto the seat and held my head in my hands. It was so hard to be critical of him... Of course when I first met him in our past lives I was like that all the time with him, but after I kissed him I slowly stopped all my mean habits towards Eren (though I still treated everyone else like shit). If there was one person that it was hard to be rude towards, it would be him, the one person that I had taken time to show care and affection towards instead.

A small part of me hoped that Ackerman would change her mind before the week's end, but I doubted it. Damn.


	4. Meanwhile in the Closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually "posted" this yesterday I swear, but something screwed up so I have to repost it now.

Eren's POV

"Are you sure that you haven't had any weird dreams lately? Or hallucinations? Or memories that shouldn't be in your head?"  
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Hanji just wasn't letting it go. Apparently Armin had mentioned to her that I met Levi and she immediately guessed that I liked him. Seriously, am I emitting some sort of signal? How the fuck does everyone know??

"Hanji. Seriously. First of all, I just don't understand how this has anything to do with Levi. Second of all, I already told you: NO." I sighed, trying not to get lost in thoughts of Levi. God, he was so fucking perfect! How does someone pull off that level of perfectness? "Besides, I don't ever remember my dreams."

Hanji froze, then turned to look me straight in the eye. We were all at her apartment, which had a lot of random shit lying around, and she had been preparing us lunch.

Now, she looked from me to Armin and Mikasa, then back to me.

"Did you guys know that?" She was still looking at me, though the question was clearly directed towards my friends.

"Uuhhh, yes? I guess we just didn't think that it was all that important.." Armin trailed off as he also turned his gaze towards me. All of a sudden, his eyes got huge. He leapt up, grabbed Mikasa and Hanji, and waltzed into another room and slammed the door.

What the fuck? They were acting as weird as when Levi first saw my drawing.

Ahh, Levi....

~~~~~  
Hanji's POV

After I got stuffed into my closet by Armin, I was very, very close to screaming bloody murder. Armin must have realized that and slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Hanji, do you think that Eren's dreams are connected to his memory?" I nodded, wondering how that wasn't obvious. "....well. All the things we've tried, and we've never thought of that. We even went way out of our way to set up Corporal Levi and Eren..."

I yanked the hand down from my mouth.

"I thought the dream thing was obvious. But it's useless. We can't get him to remember if he doesn't remember ANYTHING from his dreams. That's why I've only just now started to interrogate him. I believe that there's a very high possibility that if Eren is able to naturally form the same bond that the two of them used to share that he might remember everything."

"That's what we thought, too. I even got Corporal to promise that he would wait a week before making an advance on Eren." Holy shit, I forgot that Mikasa was in here too.

"What else were you able to make him promise? Knowing you, that couldn't have been all."

"No. Your right. I also made him promise to treat Eren like shit, though it pains me." Wow. To go that far... She must really want Eren's memory back... I shuddered, thinking back to the expression that had been on Mikasa's face during the trial. She must REALLY want his memory back.

"...I'm impressed. And Eren's still out there drooling over Levi, even though he's probably been referred to as a "shitty brat" more than once." I laughed, remembering how mad he used to get at that. "Oh, man, do you remember the time Eren refused to clean the windows? He dumped the water onto Levi, then stuck his tongue out at him and ran away. And he said that it was revenge for being called a brat all the time! When Eren was found alive the next morning, that was when I realized that Levi like Eren." I chuckled softly at the memory. Man, Levi had been pissed for days, and I only added fuel to the fire when I asked him if he liked Eren. But looking back, my mind could clearly picture a soaking wet Levi with hair drooping and a slightly stunned and slightly confused expression on his face, a nice change. He stood there, shivering, watching as Eren ran away and around a corner, then reached up and ran a hand through his hair.

"You knew since then?! I don't realize it until the time I saw Corpral Levi leaning up against Eren as he filled out some papers. Eren was bright red, and was sitting so stiffly I can't imagine it was comfortable, but Corporal looked so content there..." Oh man, Armin was so clueless. I remember that day too, I was teasing Levi about it for weeks after. But it was true, he had really looked so....so happy cuddled into Eren that I wondered how the two weren't already a couple.

"Armin, seriously? That wasn't until, like, three weeks after the rest if the squad realized it!" 

"And just when did everyone else realize?"

"When Levi was caught by Erwin staring at Eren through a window as I was experimenting in him. I thought that everyone heard about that!"

"Well obviously not."

Armin and I looked at each other for a long second, then burst into uncontrolled laughter when Mikasa cleared her throat awkwardly. 

"Haha, oh man, sorry Mikasa." I wiped away an invisible tear as I looked at her though the darkness. "You never really did completely understand their relationship, did you?"

"...I got it. I'm not stupid. I just... Didn't want to accept it. What on earth did Eren see in that bastard?"

"...Mikasa, seriously? Did you ever see those two together? They were practically made for each other!"

"I don't know, Hanji. He's just such a jerk."

"It's official. You never saw them together. Levi may have treated the rest of us like dirt, but he practically glowed when he got a chance to dote on Eren." Mikasa humphed at my reply, and turned her back on me as I started to laugh at her reaction. "Anyway, we got waaaaayy off topic here. What I had planned on telling you guys was just that I thought that if we could recreate a setting similar to one from our past lives in which his significant other is there then his dreams may become more vivid, causing him to remember them. I was just wonderin-"

"Corporal's not Eren's 'significant other'. They simply used to share a relationship that I'm sure looked much deeper than it was." I stared at Mikasa incredulously. Was she for real? I waved my hand in her face, and when she didn't react, I knew that she was lost in her own thoughts.

"...okay then. Armin, seeng as you're the only one out of you three that remembers and understands their past relationship, I wan-"

"I never said I completely understood what was happening between those two. I just know that they cared for each other in a way that most people weren't lucky enough to experience."

"Okay, seriously, do you guys have a problem with me finishing my sentences? I know you didn't understand their relationship, no one really got all the details. I simply meant that unlike SOME people," I gave a not so sneaky glance at Mikasa, "you know that there's no way that after what they went through together that they won't end up together again. Now, what I want you to do is to try to find Erwin. If Levi's around here, then that means that Erwin has to be here as well. We need to get him on this, seeing as he probably knows more about what's going on with Levi than anyone else right now. Can you do that?"

"Probably. Should I let Corporal Levi know that I'm looking for him?"

"No. If he finds out that we're trying to interfere with his relationship with Eren more than Mikasa already did we may end up dead. I also want you to keep me updated on anything Eren says about his dreams, no matter how small the detail is. But don't ask him directly, I was already pushing it just now. We all agreed that it would be worthless if he had us telling him about our past lives and he didn't remember any of it himself, as he may not believe us."

"Yes sir!" Armin saluted me, and I saluted him back, but only after rolling my eyes.

"Honestly, it seems ridiculous that you guys can't break you habits from when you were soldiers. I told you, we're on the same level now, so titles like 'sir' are pointless. And you don't have to refer to Levi as 'Corporal' anymore."

Armin laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh, that's one I won't get used to. Ever. And I'll probably call Commander Erwin 'Commander' still."

I rolled my eyes again, but I was laughing. I really was lucky to have these guys in this life.

"Come on guys. Eren's probably confused as fuck out there, and my closet isn't all that comfortable, anyway." I pushed open the door, suddenly in a really great mood. I may not have titans, but I had some really amazing friends. And hopefully Ewrin and Levi could be put back on that list soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XD you guys probably expected something way different based on the title~


	5. Don't Run, Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since chapter 4 was actually done yesterday, here's today's chapter.

Eren’s POV

*Run. Run faster. Run faster or die. They were almost there. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were huge. Maybe not as big as last time, the one that stared at me, the colossal one...*

*It was so fast, and I wasn’t, and I was going to die. I was all alone. I would die alone. Not even wings could save me now. Not even flight from the enemy could help me to live. I am going to die. I am going to die alone..*

I woke up then. I bolted upright, screaming. It hurt my throat. Armin appeared at my side at some point, trying to calm me down. Around that point, my screams turned to coherent sentences, ones that tore through my throat with just as much pain and just as little comprehension as my original shrieks.

“I’M GOING TO KILL THEM!! EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF THEM!! YOU HERE ME?! I’M GONNA KILL THEM!!!” Armin was trying to calm me down, I know he was, but right then he froze, and I slipped out from under his embrace and huddled into my blankets further as my yells started to subside.

“..Eren? Are you okay?” Armin’s voice seemed muffled through the blankets, as if he was far away. I was tempted to just go back to sleep, and my eyelids were already beginning to droop when Armin said something again.

“Eh?” I don’t know if my questioning response was even audible, but Armin simply tugged the covers down from my face and sat me up again.

“Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes after you’ve told someone about your dreams not only will they scare you less but you may not dream about them anymore..”

I glanced at Armin. My dreams lately had taken to a new level, but if I told him then he would know that I hadn’t been telling the complete truth about my dreams before, and somehow I was scared to let him know that. But he simply waited for me to talk, so I may as well…

“It was like…well it was probably similar to my other dreams, I guess. It was mainly just this overpowering feeling of helplessness. That’s pretty much been all my dreams ever, but I guess that lately they’ve… intensified? I don’t know maybe it’s just that I’m more aware of what’s going on in my dream? There was that one huge thing I saw a little while ago, and then the things after me just now...” I trailed off, pulling my knees up to my chest to rest my head on them.

“What did the thing you saw look like?” I swear Armin takes everything so seriously. Everyone dreams of things like this sometimes, right? But it did feel nice to talk about it…

“I drew it. I didn’t want to forget it since it was the first time that I ever saw what was after me. Or the first time that I remembered. Whatever. Anyway, it’s probably in my folder.” Armin went over to look through my backpack, somehow finding my folder and pulling it from the vortex of shit kept stuffed in my bag. “But that thing’s slightly different. From the things that I can’t see, I mean. I get the feeling that it was unusually large, and it didn’t chase me. It just stood there and stared at me as the other things came after me.”

“Do you know why you always feel so helpless in your dreams? Have you ever tried…Fighting back?” I watched as Armin flipped through my folder, quickly finding the picture I drew and staring at it for a long moment.

“I don’t know why, and no, not that I can remember. Does it matter? They’re just dreams. Can I go back to sleep now?” I was about to lie back down and do just that when Armin replaced the drawing of the monster and pulled out another one from the front of my folder. I blushed slightly when he held it up, but didn’t make any excuses as to why there was a drawing of Levi in my folder- Armin already knew I liked him.

“Nope. You have about two hours until you’re supposed to be at his house. You slept through almost the entire morning.” I groaned, but the thought of Levi pushed down any unpleasant ones about monsters, so I pulled myself from bed and got ready to go over to Levi’s house. Just to study, of course.

 

~~~

Levi’s POV

Why is it so hard to clean ceilings? You would think that with all of the world’s modern technology that someone would think of an easier way than just water, soap, and a ladder. After all that, at least there wasn’t a speck of dirt to be seen when I turned my head upwards. I sighed contentedly, standing in probably what was the cleanest living quarters in the world.

After changing into clothes that didn’t smell like Bleach and eating a quick and clean lunch, I glanced over at the clock on the DVD player. There was only about five minutes until Eren was supposed to get here, which caused a small smile to touch my lips. Attempting to clear it, I walked over to my kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, one that almost made it to the floor when my doorbell ringing startled me.

“Seriously brat,” I said as I let opened the door for him, “you startled the shit outa me.”

Eren was looking at the ground, but I could see a faint blush on his cheeks, whether from shame or something else I wasn’t sure. After he didn’t come inside immediately, I rolled my eyes and pulled him through the doorway.

“Go ahead and pull out whatever materials you have a test on soon and sit down at the table.” I made my way back to the kitchen as I said this, going back to finish the cup of water that I started. “You want something to drink?” When Eren shook his head no, I finished my water before walking back over to the table and sitting down beside him and shuffling through the papers and texts that he had brought out.

However, as we started into the first set of horribly taken notes, it became evident that Eren wasn’t paying much attention, and not because I was hovering over him.

“Brat. Brat! Ya, I’m talking to you. Did you get any sleep whatsoever last night? It’s pretty obvious that you’re tired as fuck right now.”

“Yeah. I mean, yes, I slept.”

“Tch.” I grabbed his chin and turned his face towards me, searching his face for telltale signs that he hadn’t really slept well. After finding no shadows under his eyes, which I had to avoid looking into lest I wanted to be dragged into them, I let go of his chin. “Shitty brat.”

I smirked when he quickly turned his now bright red face away from me, but was truly concerned for his health. “Well, we’re obviously not getting anywhere right now, so do you want to take a nap? You can stay for dinner and we can try to get back to your studies after that.”

“Umm… okay. Is that alright?” No Eren, because I would hate to have you over for dinner. Please, leave as soon as possible.

“Yes. Now go ahead and lie down on the couch and try to get some rest. Take your shoes off first, though, I don’t want any unnecessary dirt on my couch.” Eren nodded and walked off, so I turned back to the materials scattered over the table and began organizing them best I could to put back in one of his folders. There was one lying by his bag, so picked it up and opened it but almost dropped the papers I was holding when I saw the drawing in the front pocket.

It was of me drinking a cup of tea, Eren had probably taken note of the way I hold my cup last time we met. I remember that he had always been curious about that in our past lives, going so far as to try and imitate my grip on the cup only to spill water all over himself. It had been too much for me to hold back my laughter as he tried to clean up the mess, and so I had laughed uncontrollably at the time and still chuckle a bit when I think of it now.

At the precise moment that Eren had dropped the cup, Jean and Marco had walked in and had then spent a good deal of time trying to convince everybody that they had seen me laughing, but no one had really believed him except for Erwin and Hanji, and I wasn’t about to go around confirming it.

I took out the drawing to look at it closer as I felt a small blush dust my cheeks, but I ignored it. I put away the papers and folder soon after that, but took the drawing into my room and placed it on my desk. When I came back out of my room, I passed by Eren on the couch and stopped for a moment to look at him.

He had already fallen asleep, and looked incredibly at piece. I went back into my room to grab a blanket for him and draped it over him, surprised that he hadn’t asked for one earlier. I smiled slightly to myself as I leaned over and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his face, and I thought about how lucky I was that I found him, even if he didn’t remember me. Before I went back to the kitchen to start dinner, I took a picture of Eren asleep on my couch- most definitely not to become my screen saver.

I was heading back to my kitchen when the doorbell rang. I went over to the door, ready to (quietly) scold whoever was at my door to go away and to be more considerate for whoever may be sleeping, but discovered a large package on my doorstep instead. At first, I was confused, but after realizing that it was probably my 3D Maneuver Gear I quickly brought it inside and put the package on my bed.

I closed my door as to not wake Eren, then opened up the box and went through several layers of bubble wrap to get to what I had ordered. 3DMG wasn’t that delicate, but obviously the engineer had put a good deal of effort into the gear so I wasn’t too concerned.

It was perfect. I drew out a blade and examined the notches at the bottom where it would fit into the handle, then waved it through the air a little to feel the balance of it. I hadn’t especially paid much attention to who was making it so long as they made it well, but I would probably send a word of gratitude their way when I got the chance. They really had followed my detailed instructions to the letter.

I slashed the blade through the air again before the desire to put on the whole of it overcame me. I opened up my door and peeked outside at Eren, but he was still sound asleep, so I closed my door softly and went over to my closet. I had long ago had some seamstress or another put together the outfit itself for me, and I kept it all in a box at the back. I took this out now and opened it up, changing into the clothes that were somehow familiar even though I hadn’t worn them in years. My fingers didn’t falter as I added the mess of a harness either, even that felt as if I had just worn it yesterday. And when I was finally standing in front of my mirror with everything all together again, I felt an overbearing wave of nostalgia crash down upon me.

Sure, this world had electronics and didn’t have man-eating giants out to get us, and I was finally free of the walls we trapped ourselves in for good. But I missed having wings. I missed flying through forests and twirling around and around in an elaborate dance with my squad and the enemy. And I missed waking up with Eren cuddling into my chest, missed the snowball fight we had had one winter, missed the warmth of his breath.

I thought of Eren asleep on my couch, and wondered briefly if he would wake up if I kissed him. Probably. I sighed heavily before attaching blades to the handles and absent mindedly going through what warm-ups I could in my room, partially out of a habit I didn’t know still existed and partially to get my thoughts off of Eren.

 

~~~

Eren’s POV

 

*I was in darkness, a thick blanket of warmth and comfort draped over me to protect me.*

*But it didn’t last. The blanket dissipated into the nothingness, and I was back where I started. They were after me again. I was really going to die alone, in pain and where no one could find me or save me. I was too slow. I would die.*

*I felt something brush past my forehead, and calm settled over me. No. I would not die yet. I had wings, wings that had been given to me and that I could fly away on. I unfurled them in a flurry of feathers, taking off and flying away. I flew into more darkness, softer darkness, with no destination in mind. I felt as if I had been freed from a cage that I had lived my whole life in, as if I had been let go from the world I was born into.*

*And oh, how amazing it felt to fly.*

*I soared through the empty sky, owning it and whatever else belonged in the land of dreams. I was trying to fly even higher when an absence of black caught my attention. A red scarf similar to the one I always see Mikasa in drifted buy as if the air was water, and I reached out and wrapped it around myself.*

*Why was I fleeing? To live you had to win, and you couldn’t win until you had fought. So fight. Fight to win and fight to live, right? I turned around and somehow the beast I had always tried to run away from and the one that I had flown miles away from was right there.*

*It was large, maybe 15 meters. It was wearing no clothes, but had no reproductive organs though it looked human enough. But then I caught sight of its face. I caught sight of its smile.*

*Somewhere from deep inside my chest a pain exploded and flooded my heart, soon followed by anger and bloodlust. Fight to win. Fight to live. I could do this. I had wings, and I wasn’t alone. I wrapped the scarf tighter around my neck and tried to bring back the feeling of the blanket and soft touch that had first been around me when I arrived in my dreams.*

*I stared down at the monster and its smile and I hated it. I hated it for… for I don’t know why but I hated it. This monster hurt me in a way that could never heal. How had it hurt me? It didn’t matter. Fight to win, fight to live.*

*“Die,” I told it. It was a command, but it came out in a whisper. I looked at it in disgust and rage and yelled at the wind and the stars for not being with me, yelled at the stupid smile on the monster’s face. I sped toward it on my wings, eyes wide with the thought of revenge. As I got closer to it, I bit down on my hand, hard. Fight. Fight. Fight.*

*I would live.*

 

 

~~~

Levi’s POV

 

I should have gone to Eren’s side right after I started hearing him become restless, but I didn’t. Now I was there, trying to sooth him as he shook uncontrollably. He was still asleep, but pure fury was painted across his face. I held his hand and tried to whisper comforting things to him, but he wasn’t listening. He opened his mouth slightly, still asleep, and whispered a single word.

“Die.” I let go of his hand, pulling back and looking at him. The uncontrollable rage was replaced with a calm hate, and thinking back to what he had said about the picture he had drawn of the Colossal Titan I figured he must have been dreaming of the Titans. I was about to reach out for him again when he bolted upright as he let lose a scream that would haunt me for nights.

I stumbled backwards, and when I saw his eyes, they were as if someone had found a way to light emeralds on fire, bright and powerful with anger. I wanted to comfort him, but instinct kept me back. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt myself draw my swords.

Eren was still yelling, but now his hand flew up to his mouth. My eyes widened. Everything was going in slow motion. I raised my swords, I didn’t want this to happen. Eren couldn’t still shift, could he? No, it wasn’t possible. But he was biting down now, and my mind wasn’t thinking logically. I had my blades to Eren’s throat.

 

~~~

Eren’s POV

 

I woke up at the taste of blood in my mouth. I had bitten down on my hand hard enough to draw blood, and it poured out of the wound and dripped from my mouth onto…Onto the blades digging into my throat. I followed them up to their handles, to their hands, to Levi. Levi was going to kill me.

I looked briefly at the gear, the outfit, the pair of wings on the green cape. None of it was weird. It was oddly familiar, in a comforting way. But the look in his eyes, the ones usually so emotionless and hard, it was one of pure terror. I could instantly tell that he was shaken up by this, but his gaze was set on the hand in my mouth, and the blood dripping from it. I removed the hand, and Levi’s gaze followed it. I placed my hands on the blades, trying not to let my fear turn into hysteria. Levi blinked as he felt me push slightly against the swords, then blinked again. Then he stumbled backwards, dropping the blades.

“E-Eren I…You had..” I looked at him with what was probably only perceived as fear, but I was sad too. Some small part of me was sad to see Levi like this, backed into a corner, collapsed on his knees, stumbling over his words as he looked at me and at his hands with disbelief and horror.

I stood up on shaky legs, wanting to get away from here. I wished I had wings. I didn’t want to let my sight wander from Levi, the one with the blades, so I stumbled backwards into his kitchen, to his table. I grabbed my folder and stuffed it into my backpack, zipped it up, and ran. I bolted out his door to wherever would put distance between me and the blades.

I was slightly aware of leaving a blood trail, but paid it no mind. I ran and ran, and when I had reached Armin’s and mine apartment, I collapsed against the door and cried. Armin came to me immediately, looking at my wound and my tears with pity and anger. He cleaned up my wound and wrapped it, pausing to look at the marks that were obviously from teeth. He led me to my room, to my bed, to sleep.

I didn’t have wings anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!!! So, that was that. I have been dying to write this chapter since day one, so I hope you guys liked it.


	6. Running Away

Levi's POV

 

After Eren ran out the door, after he ran away from ME, I cried. I was already on the verge of tears, slumped into a corner and shaking. The look he had had on his face... He was afraid of me, terrified even. 

The tears came slowly at first, but soon my whole body was racked with silent sobs. In our past lives, Eren hadn't even been shaken by the trial, an event I tried to avoid thinking about. I had beat him up mercilessly, and yet somehow he had still fallen in love with me... But now, now after I had held my blades to his throat, he looked at me as if I was a monster. His expression...his expression was similar to how I imagine rabbits to look at wolves. He looked trapped, terrified, and defeated.

I thought of the thin red line that had appeared on Eren's neck as I held my swords there, and I let out a strangled cry. I was so done. If my 3DMG had come only a few hours later... If I had had the control to wait until I had tried everything on... If I hadn't reacted like that when Eren bit his hand....This was my fault. It was my fault Eren saw me as a killer and a monster now, something he would never get over. I could have scarred his neck. I...I almost.. I almost killed Eren, someone I was so desperately in love with... I crumpled inwards upon myself even further, waiting for sleep and darkness to envelop me as yet more tears ran down my usually emotionless face.

 

~~~  
Armin's POV

 

"No, Mikasa. You have to come NOW. I don't care if your in the middle of homework. Yes, it has to do with Eren. Holy shit, just stop what your doing and get over here! Eren is locked in his room, sobbing and terrified at who knows what, and he has multiple wounds!!"

The line went dead. Mentioning Eren in tears and pain seemed to do the trick. After Eren had come home, I had washed off the blood from his hand, and when I saw the bite marks, I wasn't quiet sure what to do. The fact that he had bit his hand exactly as he had in the past to turn into a Titan... I shuddered to think if what could have happened at Corporal Levi's. all I could think was that he had bitten his hand in his sleep, but then I heard Eren let out yet another sob and I just didn't know. 

And the cut on his neck... It didn't bleed a whole lot, but it may leave a scar. How had that happened? It was obviously the cause of Eren's look of terror and sadness, but I still wanted to know the full story behind it. In which case, there was one more call to make.

"....Hanji, did you know that your voicemail sucks? Anyway, you never got back to me about Commander Erwin, but if you were able to find him, I need you to come over with him as soon as you get this. Eren was at Corporal's house up until 15 minutes ago, when he burst through the door as if a Titan was on his heels. Ever since he's been in his room crying, and there are bite marks on his hand as if he had tried to transform." I pressed the end button and put my phone away, wishing she had picked up. 

When Mikasa arrived, she pushed right by me to Eren's door, which she promptly picked the lock to. She burst in and went to Eren's side, hugging him and rocking him back and forth in a way that could only be described as a motherly. 

"Eren, are you okay? What happened?" I could hear the panic in her voice as she fingered the bandages on his hand and neck.

No response from Eren. In fact, he appeared to only cry harder.

"Mikasa, just leave him alone. Come on. You need to hear this." I pulled her out of Eren's room with some difficulty and had her sit down on the couch. "When Eren got home, my first priority was making sure his cuts were tended to. The one on his neck isn't deep, but was made in such a way that it may scar. But the one on his hand....Mikasa, it was self inflicted. He bit it."

Mikasa's eyes widened in disbelief, and she whipped her head back towards Eren's room. "...this happened while he was at Corporal's house." I rolled my eyes at her dislike of the Corporal, but allowed her to continue. "I knew he wasn't any good for Eren. Did you call Hanji? We need to find out exactly what happened, and something tells me that we won't be able to get anything out of Eren."

"Yeah, but all I got was her voicemail. I told her to come over as soon as she got it with the Commander, but who knows when she'll listen to it."

"...I'm staying the night." I nodded. Eren would need her by his side, and in any case I didn't think that I could convince Mikasa otherwise. The rest of the evening was spent in silence, sitting on the couch looking at Eren's door and listening to his sobs. They eventually quieted and stopped all together; I assumed they did simply because he ran out of tears to shed and had fallen into a shaky sleep.

 

~~~  
Eren's POV

 

*No... No. I collapsed into the darkness, the red scarf that once had provided me warmth turned to ash and blew into nothingness. I heard the lumbering footsteps of the smiling beast, but there were more of them now. The wings I had once flown on had been torn from my back, leaving only a few feathers colored blue and white.*

*The smiling monster bent down and looked at me, taking it's time now that I was completely still and not trying to fight back.* 

*"Goodbye.." I was only half aware that the whispers of a farewell made it past my lips as I watched the last remaining feathers crumble to dust as well. When was the cold so harsh? When did the darkness become so deadly? And when had I stopped caring...*

*I felt a large hand pick up my limp body, but I didn't react. I was being lifted upwards now, and I briefly wondered why my dreams never ended this way before.*

*Was it because I had tried to run? Why had I done that? Escape, no, freedom is such a fragile thing, almost more breakable and untouchable as trust, so why had I made the effort? There must have been some reason I tried, a reason so important that I had to keep going. And then, hadn't I tried to fight the second I reached my so called freedom? Why had I turned back and flown into the fire? There was no reason to fight. No one has to fight anything. It doesn't really matter, not really. Not in this dream, not in the real world. I had been hurt, right? That was after I had tried to fight. My hand throbbed painfully at the reminder of pointless anger, and a stinging line across my throat scolded me for believing in wings and the freedom they bring. I had been hurt as a natural consequence of stupidity and blind emotions. There was no point or reason to fight my punishments.*

*So why was I crying?*

 

~~~  
Hanji's POV

 

After I heard the voicemail from Mikasa, my first thought was how I wished I could've had Eren bite his hand before. Next I wondered if Eren had remembered anything, felt anything, anything related to his past abilities. About five minutes later, the panic and pleading in Armin's voice got through to me and I immediately jumped up and grabbed my phone, suddenly filled with concern.

I tapped my fingernails on my counter where countless papers had been dumped, my mind racing as I listened to the phone ring.

"Thank God you picked up!! Listen, this is an emergency. Do you remember when I told you that we needed you to help us out by keeping us updated on Levi as we tried to bring Eren's memories back?"

"Ya, you only told me about fifty times." Though his response was slightly smartassing me, I could also hear the concern in Erwin's voice.

"Okay, so you probably heard that Levi had Eren over at his place today, right?" This time I pushed forward, not waiting for his reply. "Well I got a call from Armin saying that Eren came home a mess. He was crying, and it looked like he had bitten his hand like he did in our past lives. He asked me to get you and come over to his and Eren's apartment as soon as we could." I stopped tapping the counter, opting to pace instead.

"Wait Eren came back from Levi's like that? But Levi would never do anything to hurt Eren, and we both know that! Maybe... I... Never mind. I'll be over at your place in ten." I could hear the obvious confusion in his voice before he hung up, it boggled me as well. Levi cared so deeply for Eren, how on Earth could he end up chasing Eren away trailing blood and tears? Knowing Levi, if someone was injured he tended to make sure they cleaned up their mess and didn't give a shit past that, but with Eren... With Eren it was much more likely that Levi put everything on hold to care to his wounds. I truly wondered at the events that had taken place at Levi's apartment, going back to the counter to tap away some tune that was stuck in my head.


	7. Thanks, Erwin

Erwin's POV

 

It has been almost two weeks now since Hanji called me telling me about Eren and the sorry shape he was in, and up until this point I haven't been able to reach Levi. I had at first wondered why Mikasa, Armin and Hanji had wanted me in on their plans to get Eren's memory back, but it occurred to me on day two why. Levi prefers to not talk about his personal life, that I know, but I guess that somehow I always was told anyway. And on that second day of not being able to reach Levi, I realized that I expected to be let in on what had happened. And if I can expect such things, it's only natural for them to want me to help them by keeping them up to date on how Levi's handling everything.

But I had tried everything except breaking down his door, and for the past 12 days I've gotten zero response. Just now, though, after the third phone call that hour (because of course by now I was seriously concerned) he finally picked up. 

"Stop it Erwin." And then he hung up. At first I had been surprised, and then it hit me how awful he had sounded. His voice had been rough and quiet, as if he hadn't used it in weeks, which I suppose was probably true. And after thinking about what the best course of action to take would be, I decided to go with the door-breaking-down idea. 

I stood now outside his door, not really wanting to try and actually break it down but knowing that Levi was in a terrible place right now. Sighing, I pushed slightly against the door with my fingertips, testing it. To my surprise, the door creaked open, revealing what was probably the scariest thing I could think of when it came to Levi's condition.

Dust was everywhere, covering every surface, as if no one had even moved in the place for days. Looking into the kitchen, glasses were spread out over the counter, and I almost stepped on a bottle of beer that had fallen to the ground and shattered. Books were scattered around, mostly by the walls, as if someone had thrown them, and I confirmed this theory when I found a spot where the book had made a dent in the wall and chipped the paint before falling to the ground.

I swallowed as I moved towards his bedroom. His apartment was large, and indicated the wealth him and I had made on our company, but he had somehow always kept it spotless. Now, I had to watch my step as I trudged through the stale air, and I found myself checking to make sure there wasn't evidence he hadn't gone on drugs in his sorrow. Luckily, I found nothing, but a few bottles of beer surprised me seeing as Levi rarely drank.

When I pushed open the door to his room, I gasped. It was even worse than the rooms preceding it, with just about everything thrown around as if he had had a fit, and in the center of his bed was a Levi-shaped lump buried under the covers.

"Why are you here? Go away. I don't want to deal with people right now. I hate people." Again, I found myself pitying the voice that floated towards me as if unsure of itself.

"Levi, I've been trying to contact you for almost two weeks now. I think that saying you don't want to deal with people 'right now' isn't fair. Please, what happened? I saw Eren... He's a mess..." I saw the lump shift, and I could picture Levi's expression of concern for Eren. "I know you love him, and I also know that whatever happened here two weeks ago left him with a scar on his neck and stitches in his hand. I'm worried for him, but I'm more worried for you. This...the mess, your refusal to cope, I want to help you, Levi."

"...I don't want help. I want you to go away." I winced. He sounded as if he wanted to cry, but couldn't anymore. After spending over a lifetime with him, anything but classic, stoic Levi meant something had seriously gone wrong.

"Well, I'm not leaving until you tell me what happened here. I would honestly say that you and Eren were both overreacting, and that nothing should warrant this sort of response, but knowing how you can usually cope with anything set off alarms for me. Whatever happened, it was a big deal, and you have to tell someone what it was. " I sat down on the bed, watching the lump shift away from me. I was surveying the room again as I waited for Levi to tell me what happened, and then something caught my eye in a corner. I got up and walked over to what had glared in the light filtering in from the window, picking up a...a set of 3D Maneuver Gear. My breath caught, and I sorted through the mess in that corner until I had found all of the blades and even the outfit.

"...Did you have these specially made? Where did you get them? How long have you had them?" For a moment I had completely forgotten about Levi's state of being, focusing only on the memories of the past and of having wings, but the sound of Levi sitting up made me turn around and yank myself from the past.

"...Put that down, Erwin. It's not yours. It shouldn't have been mine either..." Levi broke off here and fell back down under his fortress of blankets, and I could tell he was trying hard not to cry. And as I wondered at his reaction to the gear and outfit, something caught my eye. There, about halfway down the blade I was holding, the edge had a fine layer of red on it. Blood.

I thought of Eren's scar on his neck, and I dropped the gear along with the blade with a sudden thump.

"Levi, did you...?" My voice wavered and eventually gave out, but the question was strong in the air and evident to Levi. The lump shuddered, and I got up and pulled back the covers to reveal Levi with tears streaming down his face. when I refused to give him back the blankets, he turned away from me. I placed an uncertain hand on his shoulder, wondering how to comfort someone who never shows emotion.

"...Killed him..." I couldn't quite hear the first part of what he had said, but my mind instantly picked together that Levi had almost killed Eren. "He was sleeping, and the gear had been delivered, and I tried it on, and Eren's dreams turned violent, and he bit his hand as he woke up, and I didn't know I had done it, I swear, I didn't realize that I had my sword to his...I promise I didn't know..I really didn't...I was so scared...promise.." Levi shuddered uncontrollably throughout his slurred explanation, and I tightened my grip on his shoulder. 

"And then it must have cut into his skin and then....and then..." Levi let out a small sound that honestly reminded me of a lost kitten's mew, but I kept it to myself. "Erwin...he was...he was so scared of me... He ran out, but when he did, he never took his eyes off me. It was like he thought I was going to slice him up if he turned his back to me for one second. He...he sees me as a monste-" and that was where Levi cut himself off altogether. He curled inwards upon himself and I wondered how anyone could make so little noise while crying as hard as Levi was. He never once let me see his face, but I could tell. So I just sat there, with my hand still on his shoulder, staring at the 3D Maneuver Gear blankly.


	8. I Remember, Corporal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;3

Eren's POV

 

After the first night that I dreamt of being eaten, my dreams stopped. It wasn't like how in the past I just couldn't remember them but was left with a sensation of fear, no, somehow this was worse. Because I could remember every second that passed by in my sleep, a cold darkness blanketing me as I lie in a conscious slumber. I know that sometimes if you are aware that you are in a dream, you can control it. Something called Lucid Dreaming according to Armin. And believe me, I have tried to make something happen, to escape the overwhelming darkness in which nothing ever happens. However, I don't think that I want to leave the darkness enough to change it.

This morning when I woke up, I slowly turned my head to look out the window and at the light and the Sun. It was so bright that I had to look away, but after the never ending darkness from the night previous, it was a nice reassurance that the light still existed. 

I sat up, careful to avoid putting to much weight on the stitches in my hand. The first week had been the hardest, and I could barely get my mind off of Levi, but at the beginning of the second week, I had a realization. It didn't matter. I was lucky to be alive, and should be happy that I wasn't killed. What had happened was simple: I had had a crush on someone who not only didn't like me back but who was crazy enough to try and kill me. At first I had rejected this explanation of those events, but the more time went on the less I denied it. I mean, why did I care so much for the clean freak anyway? I had met him a grand total of three times, including the night from two weeks ago. It may have seemed as if I had sincere feelings for him, but things like that don't come from nowhere. It was mistake, and I needed to move on. 

As I got dressed, I stopped to look at myself in the mirror for a moment. My body had turned frightfully thin and pale during the first week, but I was slowly starting to become less skin and bones. Slowly. I moved my eyes from the rib age showing through my skin to my neck and stared hard at the thin, almost unnoticeable line there. The doctor had said that it wouldn't scar when he had first given me the stitches in my hand, but I was doubting that these two weeks later. I guess that I'll just always have a reminder of my stupidity.

And then I looked at my face. The dark circles were still there beneath my eyes, and like the rest of my body my face seemed a bit gaunt, but there was color in my cheeks now, and my hair had stopped hanging limply. I ignored my eyes. If I looked there, I don't think that I could fool myself into thinking that I was getting over it.

I shook my head to try and think I other things as I finished getting dressed and left my room to get breakfast, but when I got into the kitchen, I stopped short when I saw someone siting at the table with Armin, Hanji, and Mikasa.

"..awful. When I got in, the place was a mess, and he himsel- Ahhh....Hello Eren." I stood there, uncertain, then chose to ignore Erwin and get myself a bowl of cereal. As I was pouring the milk, however, I became aware that everyone had become silent and was watching me. Erwin had come once before, during the first week after that night, and had introduced himself as Levi's friend. I had decided then as well to ignore him.

"...Do you want me to leave?" Mikasa and Hanji looked uncomfortable, and Armin visibly flinched, but there wasn't much of a reaction from Captian America sitting there.

"No. You should probably be hearing this too. I went to Levi's house yesterday since I hadn't been able to contact him these past couple weeks, and it was a mess. There was evidence that he had thrown fits, thrown things, dust and dirt had accumulated, dirty dishes were left lying around randomly, and he himself was unresponsive. I managed to get him to tell me what had happened." I felt myself wince, but I sat down and ate my cereal and pretended to not be listening. "You three who don't know, apparently Eren had some sort of dream that resulted in him biting down on his hand. Earlier while Eren was napping Levi received the 3D Maneuver Gear he had specially ordered in the mail and had tried them out. Actually, he had the whole outfit, everything! It was amazing! And- sorry. So he had the gear on when he heard Eren scream and went to his side. When he bit his hand he put his blade to Eren's throat as a soldiers' habit. He meant Eren no harm, and is now in pieces because he hurt and terrified him. When I told him that Eren was a mess, he became genuinely concerned, but he refused my offer to bring him here. He said that he was afraid Eren would run from him again." Erwin sounded cold and I had a feeling that most if what he said was directed at me just as much as to the other three, but I had stopped listening near the beginning.

3D Maneuver Gear....Where had I heard that? What was it? It must have been that thing with the blades. The "whole outfit" must refer to the clothes he had been wearing. Hadn't it been something like, a green cloak or something? I looked from Erwin to Hanji to Mikasa to Armin, then back to Erwin again. Some part of my mind registered that they were talking, but I ignored it. My heart was beating very fast for a reason that I didn't understand, and my breathing was shallow. Erwin looked so powerful sitting there, commanding everyone's attention, and the people listening seemed just the tiniest but stiff, like soldiers at attention. How odd. The sun glinted off Hanji's glasses, and I looked down to avoid the glare. 

Me eyes landed on the stitches in my hand. How had that happened again? I had... I had bit it. Why had I done that? It was because of my dream, where the monster had chased me. Aren't they called Titans? Yeah, yeah they are. And the Smiling Titan was trying to eat me, so I had naturally tried to run, but you can't outrun a Titan. And then there was something with flying, why was it so hard to remember how that dream went all of a sudden? And why did it suddenly feel so important? Wings, that's what it was. Wings of Freedom. I had flown away, but then the red...the red scarf was there. Wasn't that the one I gave Mikasa? No, she was wearing it when I met her, right? Damn, why couldn't I remember?

"Mikasa," I interrupted Erwin quietly, but he immediately stopped speaking. "Mikasa, where did you get that scarf? Did....Was I the one who gave that to you?" Mikasa and Armin froze, eyes widening, as Hanji and Erwin looked at them with confusion. 

"...Yes. You gave it to me." Mikasa sounded happy, but I didn't know why. All I knew was that I had to figure this out, or else, well, I think it would be not good.

"Okay. And...I gave it to you because... I wanted you to live....What happened to your parents?"

"They were killed. I watched them being murdered in our own home. You saved me. You gave me the scarf." Erwin and Hanji seemed to be less confused about what was happening, but still didn't seem to follow what we were talking about.

"But... but didn't you say when we met that your parents lived nearby? They're not dead, are they?"

"They're dead. They were killed. When we were just kids, don't you remember? You saved me." Armin looked at Mikasa with what seemed to be a warning look, but both Mikasa and I ignored it.

"Are you sure? I thought we only met a few years ago...But then how'd you have that scarf for so long? I gave that to you while we waited for the polic- for the...the... they weren't police. Police don't have swords and they don't fly." Mikasa remained silent as I tried to verbally test out ideas of what had happened in my past, so I kept going. "Then, then we took you in? You lived with me? Then... Why don't I have any memories of my mom after I turned 12? That's not right. I saw her just last month. Right?" 

This time I turned to Mikasa with the intention of her actually answering me. "Why do I hate the Smiling Titan? Did it erase my memories of Mom?" Here, every one of the four people at the table with me inhaled slightly, and exchanged glances. To me it seemed as if they were determine whether or not they should answer me, but I ignored it. My brain hurt.

I guess that they decided to not answer me, because they remained silent. I also remained silent, but not because I was waiting for a response. I wanted to think about this. Why were my memories overlapping? Why did Levi seem to he such a big part of this? And why did I have memories of people that it almost seemed shouldn't be alive? That wasn't right...I looked down at my hand. I had bit my hand. Why? I had bit my hand to be strong and fight the Smiling Titan. I couldn't do the without having the right equipment or...or turning into a Titan?

"Hanji, can I.....Hanji, why didn't I turn into a Titan when I bit my hand?" I somehow knew that she wasn't going to answer, so I didn't listen for a response. I should have turned into a Titan. 3D Maneuver Gear kills Titans. Levi must have had his gear on because he was going to kill a Titan. Was I the Titan?

"...He had it wrong." I fingered at the scar on my neck while I waited to collect my thoughts before continuing. "This... this is the wrong spot. You aim for the nape of the neck. This is the front of my neck, and he only was using one blade. he couldn't cut out a chuck of flesh like that. Not even Le- Corporal... We call him Corporal?" Hanji nodded, and Erwin eyed me with hope. Mikasa and Armin were radiating happiness, but kept silent. What was happening? I looked back at the Commander. "You said that Levi's apartment was in ruin? Why? Corporal is such a clean freak. I had to skip dinner once to clean for him." Now I turned to Hanji. "Squad leader, right?" She nodded, so I continued. "Squad Leader, what happened to that castle? The one we cleaned? Where is that? There's nowhere like that."

"It got torn down and built over. It stood about two leagues from here." Hanji answered this question immediately. Why were they only answering some things? I didn't like it.

I stood up slowly, cereal long forgotten. I looked at the Commander and Squad Leader. There was something that I had to do when I saw them. What was it? A salute? Yes... yes that was it. I slowly put one arm behind my back as I made a fist with my other hand and placed it over my heart. Commander Erwin and Hanji stood up also and returned the salute, faster and watchful.

We all sat down, and I went back to trying to sort through memories. There were too many, they overlapped, people showed up where they shouldn't. This was't right.

"Why does it seem like I had two lives? I have too many memories....They don't fit...." Armin opened and closed his mouth a bit, as if unsure of how to answer.

"Eren, have you heard of reincarnation?" 

That was it. I felt as if a huge wall had come crashing down from inside my mind, letting me see the other side and understand. Mikasa's parents did die, but not in this life. Me and her killed their murderers, which later the MP tried to use against me in court for being a Titan-shifter, but then Corporal Levi had.... Oh my God. Levi. 

I fell from my chair, but didn't move from the ground. Levi, Levi. That's why I had felt so attached to him from the beginning, it was because in our past lives I had loved him. And now, the weight of the love I felt for Levi pressed on my shoulders, and I knew that it wasn't just in my past life. I thought of Levi cleaning, sleeping, flying through the air. Helping me study. I no longer was afraid of him. It wasn't his fault.

I had bit my hand. Levi, being better than anyone by a million, had amazing instinct. He must remember, because he reacted like any soldier would in a situation where a Titan might appear in their living room. I pictured him on the floor, looking at me, trembling and stuttering. He couldn't explain himself because he knew I didn't remember, and he was terrified of what he had done and that I might be scared of him. And all I had done was run from him, confirming all his fears. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I was aware of Mikasa and Armin above me.

I sat up. 

"Armin, I have to go see Levi now."


	9. Mine Again

Levi's POV

 

When I heard the door open, my first reaction was surprise. I genuinely didn't think that Erwin would come two days in a row, but who knows I guess. My next thought was that it was really cold, causing me to curl up farther into my blankets, almost burying my head but not quite. After telling somebody about what I had done to Eren I had felt slightly better, but I still would rather lie in bed all day than make an effort to do anything.

"Go away Erwin. I don't want to talk to you." I wasn't sure whether my protest was loud enough to be heard or not, but it obviously was, for I found myself bolting out of bed and into my living room when I heard the reply.

"It's not the Commander, Corporal." I knew that voice so well I dreamt of it, so I almost thought it was just a nice dream, but when I skidded to a halt by the couch Eren was standing there with his right fist over his heart and his left behind his back. Not bothering to salute to him in return, I ran at him and tackled him to the ground.

"So you remember?" I was disgusted by the hope and happiness found in my voice, but I couldn't do anything about that. I nuzzled into Eren's neck, knowing that his response would be a yes from the look in his eyes. He wasn't afraid of me anymore, and the look of determination I had always loved was there again.

However, instead of answering me, Eren gently pushed us both up off the ground so that I was sitting in his lap and he was looking up at me. I hated that our height difference was large enough that I barely was taller than him like this, but I wasn't all too concerned with this currently. He leaned upwards slightly and caught my lips with his own, greedily pressing into me. I remained still with shock and happiness for about a second before instinctively returning the kiss. I frowned when Eren pushed away, but let him since we obviously had some things to talk about.

"Why didn't you try to tell me about our past lives? I could have remembered everything and avoided the trip to the hospital! Do you know how painful stitches are?" I was a bit annoyed that this was the first thing that he chose to say to me after he remembered our past lives, but I rolled my eyes and answered.

"Well, seeing as I never had magical healing Titan powers, yes. And I'm quite sure I know a whole hella lot of other things in regards to pain than you do for the same reason." While my words were strict, my expression was one of concern and regret as I held his hand so that I could see the wound. "Honestly brat, how the fuck do you bite through your skin so deep like that?" Eren removed his hand from my grasp and groaned.

"What happened to you calling me by my name? I thought you had stopped calling me 'brat' like, two weeks into our relationship." I scowled, as I had been unaware that the old nickname had slipped out.

"Sorry. Your sister wanted me to act towards you like I did towards everyone else in the hopes of jogging your memories, which included the old nicknames. I guess it brought back some habit that used to exist." I was about to try and steal another kiss when Eren let out an annoyed sigh, so I leaned back. "Hey, at least I'm not calling you a shitty brat. We both know you hate that way more. Plus, we're so much closer in age this time round that it'll probably be easier for me to go back to calling you Eren." After I finished, I did lean in for another kiss, but only a short one before I stood up.

"You're just gonna leave me down here?" I rolled my eyes and hoisted Eren up onto his feet, at which point I finally got a fairly good look at him. He had grown thin, and his shirt hung limp and wrinkled from his bony shoulders. Though his expression wasn't anything bad, and his eyes practically sparkled with happiness, there were rings under his eyes that concerned me. 

"Tch." I reached out a hand and lightly brushed my thumb under one eye before moving my hand and cradling his head with it; Eren immediately leaned into my hand and I smirked at his slight blush. And then my eyes landed on his neck. "Shit." 

I removed my hand from Eren's cheek and grabbed his chin and gently nudged his chin up so that his scar was more visible. My other hand let go from his hand, which I hadn't known I was holding, and traced it softly. Eren shuddered at the feather light touch, and yanked his head down so that I couldn't reach it anymore. 

"God, I'm so sorry Eren..." I could feel tears begin to well up in my eyes, and I turned my head away before he could see. Who was I to be touching something so precious when I had went and almost killed him only two weeks ago? I tried to pull away from Eren completely, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"Hey, it's okay. Shhhh....it's alright. I'm alright. I promise." I shook my head slightly, still refusing to meet his eyes. This was partially because I still felt horrible, but mostly because of the blush rising to my cheeks at Eren's attempts to sooth me, making feel like a child.

"I don't know, Eren... I just... The look you gave me... And now... I just don't....know..." My words were broken as I tried to keep myself together, but I knew I had failed when I felt a tear roll off my cheek and land on Eren's shirt. Eren pulled me closer still, and I started when he raised one hand to run it through my hair.

"I'm sorry Levi... I know that it wasn't your fault, and in my opinion your immediate reaction just shows me that you would still be number one if Titans were to attack again." I rolled my eyes at this, my distress momentarily forgotten.

"Tch. Of course I would be." And then what Eren said rang through my head again, and I went back to being miserable. "...But....please don't say that it wasn't my fault. I almost killed you, and that can't be changed..." I started crying softly against Eren's shoulder, this time using it as a pillow and a way to block out the world. His hand felt so nice running through my hair...I wondered briefly if I could fall asleep standing up.

"Okay. So maybe you... Hurt me. But that doesn't mean I blame you. With my memories, I understand why you did what you did, and I forgive you completely. My memories also brought back my knowledge of every single thing I ever did to make you smile, so I'll go through them all if I have to." By now I was even redder, but I lifted my head from Eren's shoulder and wiped my eyes.

"Thanks. That... It makes me feel a lot better knowing that you don't blame me. But... I don't know how long it'll take for me to forgive myself." I swept my eyes over Eren's appearance again, thinking about how Erwin had said that Eren was left a mess after what happened here.

"Hmph. That means you probably won't be spending a whole ton of time with me just yet, huh..." Eren looked disappointed, which made it incredibly difficult not to give in and say that everything would be perfect. Unfortunately for him, I felt bad enough about myself to resist doing so.

"No, no I don't think that I could stand that. But your not allowed to sleep here anymore." Eren began to give an indignant cry, but I cut him off. "Yes, that means you can't spend the night. Not tonight, or tomorrow night. No, I don't know when." Eren closed his mouth and looked at me sullenly after I had answered all his coming questions in ways he didn't like. I groaned inwardly when I saw a spark of mischief dance in his eyes, but let him say what he planned to.

"As if I wanted to. This place is a dump anyway." I blinked once. I blinked again. Then I stepped back from Eren to survey my apartment.

Holy shit.

I knew I had thrown maybe a book or two, and maybe I had left like, a single glass out on the counter, and maybe I hadn't vacuumed in a couple days, but the place was a disaster. I caught Eren looking at a shattered beer bottle in my kitchen and felt my face burn with shame and embarrassment.

Eren then turned to look at me. Much as I had done earlier to him, he surveyed me up and down, frowning at the signs that I hadn't been taking care if myself much. I could tell that he was genuinely concerned for me and wanted to ask what I had done after he had left, but I gave him a glare that clearly told him to not ask. So right then we both silently agreed to never talk about what we had been through during those two weeks, and Eren bent down to give me a short kiss.

I made a slight sound of annoyance when he made it clear he didn't feel like continuing but let him pull me over to the couch. After we had both sat down and Eren had snuggled into my shoulder, I approached the unwanted but necessary task of trying to answer Eren's questions.

"You never answered my first question. Why didn't anyone try to tell me anything about our past lives?" What I wanted to know was why we had to talk about this now. I would so much rather just curl up with Eren and fall asleep, but it was obvious that he wasn't letting that happen. I wrapped an arm around him before starting in on the tedious questions and answers, smiling slightly at the way Eren immediately tried to use this as a way to snuggle closer to me.

"Would you have believed us?" Eren scowled and shook his head. "Exactly. It would've been meaningless unless you remembered on your own. How exactly did you remember, anyway?" So Eren recounted the events that had taken place not more than half an hour ago (And no, even though he got here almost directly after he had remembered, he had not been desperate to see me- I asked), and then we simply talked about our current lives. We didn't focus on a particular topic, just anything new to this age or something that had happened to us, trying to fill the years we had spent apart.

"Did you really bite him?" Eren asked incredulously after I finished telling him of one of the many times my height had been made fun of. "You could have so much easier beaten him! It's quite effective, trust me." I winced at this, but decided to ignore the comment.

"Course I did. The little shit not only called me short, but a kitten. A kitten, Eren. Do you know how insulting that was? My pride was mortally wounded. And cats bite, right? Maybe not as much as dogs, but...." Eren laughed as I trailed off, and I closed my eyes and cherished the sound.

This was one of things that I had missed the most: curling up somewhere with Eren while we talked about whatever came to our minds. Sometimes we wouldn't even say anything, just sit there enjoying the other's company. And now, too, we trailed off into silence. Eren shifted himself so that his head was resting in my lap, and I ran my fingers through his hair for a while before noticing that he was close to falling asleep.

"Oi, Eren. Do you really feel the need to break the only rule I set before you?" Eren nodded sleepily, and I smiled slightly at the sight of the tired boy. He really was so cute when he was like this... I sighed before forcing Eren into a sitting position.

"Come on. Something tells me you didn't drive here yourself, so I'll give you a ride back to yours and Alert's place. I need you awake to give me directions." Eren groaned loudly, but let me drag him out to my car.

"Damn. You really are well off. You have a huge apartment, nice new car, live on the rich people's side of town, sheesh, what did you say you did for a living?" 

"I didn't. I simply said that Erwin and I started our own company a few years ago and that it's been pretty successful." I felt no need to elaborate, seeing as Eren was still half asleep, so I had him give me his address and I pulled him out of the car when we got there.

He really was tired, probably more from the stress and emotional level the day had been at than anything. When I rang the doorbell and Ackerman answered, I wasn't surprised. I was even less surprised when she looked at the way Eren was leaning heavily on me and almost seemed to be trying to fall asleep there with his head on my shoulder with disgust. That girl had always hated our relationship, and I found myself being given the evil eye. 

"Well, are you going to let him in?" I asked irritably after what seemed like forever of just standing there waiting. Ackerman narrowed her eyes, but took Eren from me and led him inside before shutting the door on my face.

I didn't mind. Eren was mine again, and besides, there was quite a mess waiting to be dealt with back at my place.


	10. ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late, I actually forgot about it -_-'  
> I'll get another one up today as scheduled though dont worry.

Eren's POV

 

After Mikasa had ushered me inside the previous night, I had promptly fallen asleep on the couch. I was aware that it was only 11:00 in the morning, but apparently remembering a whole extra life and then hooking back up with your boyfriend from said life takes a lot out of you. I had woken up in time for dinner, which had been eaten in awkward silence since I was still half asleep and it was clear that both Armin and Mikasa were waiting for me to tell them what had happened at Levi's. After dinner, however, I had chosen to lock myself up in my room and draw for a while. I was slightly concerned when I realized that the picture of Levi I had put in my folder was missing, but seeing as he was the only thing I seemed capable of drawing lately I shrugged it off.

Now, after having woken up amid a pile of blankets, paper and pencils, and empty Pocky boxes, I stretched out and looked back through the notebook I had slowly started to fill with sketches and more in depth pictures of Levi before getting up. Levi was just so perfect, it was hard not to draw him. I had a drawing if him from most of my favorite memories of him, from our past lives. I had to deal with Armin and Mikasa at some point, so I walked out into the living room with an unfinished box of Pocky and sat on the couch waiting for Armin to wake up. Mikasa was already awake, sitting next to me reading a book. 

When Armin had woke up, he wondered into the living room rubbing his eyes and looking exhausted, but saw Mikasa and I on the couch and made his way over to us.

"So? You gonna tell us finally?" Armin sat down on my other side, and I nodded. I recounted what was going through my mind when I remembered everything, and gave a brief overview of what had happened at Levi's. The strained expression on Mikasa's face led me to rush through that part, so I ended up telling them simply that we had talked everything over and reestablished the relationship we used to have. I still hadn't told the two of them what had happened two weeks ago, so I told them about that, too, but with much less enthusiasm. By the end of it, Mikasa was practically radiating murderous vibes.

"He did what to you?! And you forgave him for it?" Mikasa was fuming, though it looked to me as if Armin had been able to piece together the events himself so he didn't comment on any of it.

"Yes. And if you had been in my place, had seen and heard exactly what I did, you would have too." And that was that. None of us had any interest in pursuing the topic any longer, though Mikasa made it clear that she wasn't pleased.

Armin tried to clear the awkward atmosphere by making us all a huge breakfast, which did help some, but when Mikasa left after breakfast there was barely a word said. She looked at me, then at Armin, then back at me before saying anything.

"If he screws up again, even in the smallest of ways, he's dead. Pass that on for me." And then she marched out as if she hadn't just issued a death threat to the person I cared most about.

"Well then." Armin looked extremely uncomfortable, and I rolled my eyes at his lack of confidence in this kind of situation.

"Relax Armin. We all knew that she would be like this anyway, she's always hated Levi. It's wonder to me how you even got her to help reintroduce me to him." Armin shrugged, then let out a small laugh.

"Well, it took some convincing, and Hanji helped with that too, but she was at the point that she would've done just about anything for you to get your memories back. It can be very trying to have memories and connections with people you care about and then have to pretend that those don't exist. Especially when you live when that person." I laughed too, and then Armin went up into his room to study while I turned on the TV and mindlessly flipped through channels until I felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out, smiling to myself when I saw it was a text from Levi.

~Oi, what are you doing this Sunday?

I laughed softly at the fact that he texted exactly as he talked. Who starts a text with "Oi"? Still laughing, I thought ahead, then called to Armin when my mind failed me.

"Hey Armin! What's going on Sunday?" I could practically hear him roll his eyes in the other room, but I had no idea why.

"Your birthday, idiot! Levi ask you out?" I felt myself blush and I turned my head, even though Armin was still in another room.

"Not yet he hasn't so don't jinx it! He just asked me if I was doing anything. Am I?" I couldn't believe that I had forgotten my own birthday. I guess I had spent so much time locked away from others I hadn't really bothered with things like wondering the date, but now I flicked on my phone and saw that it was in fact only six days until my birthday.

"I'm fine with you guys doing something that day, but Mikasa's coming over that evening after dinner and we'll probably end up watching crappy movies all night. Sound good?"

"Perfect! Thanks Armin!" I quickly typed up a reply to Levi saying that I was free until after dinner, and was surprised at the speed at which he replied.

~Good. I'll be around at 5 to pick you up.

I rolled my eyes. He didn't even tell me where we were going. Or even if it was for dinner for that matter, but I figured that that much was obvious.

~Woah, boy. I don't see a question there.

~It wasn't one.

I laughed, thinking how Levi was probably pissed off by now by my refusal to accept the date when we both knew I wouldn't be able to resist spending time with him. Well, even Levi deserved to squirm sometimes.

~I refuse to go anywhere until I've been asked to go there. 

~Are you fucking serious? 

~Very.

I turned off the TV, which had been forgotten, and settled back Ito the couch to wait for Levis reply.

~Fine. Can you come with me on Sunday at 5?

~Yes, I can. But I still haven't been asked if I want to or if I will.

It was so much fun to mess with Levi. I could practically see his face right now, scowling at his phone, and I giggled stupidly at what fun this was.

~You are by far the most annoying brat to have ever walked the face of this planet. And to think that you got to do so twice. Would you please like to come with me at 5 this Sunday for dinner oh wonderful shitty brat of mine?

~Hmmm...well, I was considering it, but then I was called both annoying and a shitty brat. 

~That's it. I'm done. You can eat with Ackerman and Arlert. I'm not taking you anywhere.

I let out an audible whine, which a quickly stifled remembering Armin in the next room over.

~Awwww Come on Levi I was only teasingg...

~Nope. And from this point on, you have been renamed "Shitty Brat" in my contacts.

~Nuuuuuuuuu Levi don't do this! I'll go I'll go! I'm sorry for making you ask me out like a normal person!

~Shitty Brat stop texting me. I have work to do. And you're not helping your case with things like that last line there.

I sighed, a bit annoyed at how the situation had turned, and quite ready to tell Levi exactly how I felt about being called brat, but I knew there was no way getting out of this now. Unless.... I smirked to myself, typing my response.

~Awwww. But I love you soooo much Levi! What a bummer. Well, in that case, I'm free on Sunday, so would you like to come by and pick me up for dinner? Maybe some time around 5?

~...Fucking brat. Yes. 

I let out a whoop, jumping up from my spot on the couch and choosing to ignore that he still called me a brat. One for Eren, and... God knows how many for Levi. I was about to put my phone away when Levi sent another text.

~Dress nicely. I'll see you Sunday.

~I will! Thanks Levi!

I put my phone away, then settled back into the couch and thought about the things that I should probably have been studying at that moment.

...nah, didn't really matter. I could just wait as an excuse to see my "study partner" again.


	11. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apologies cuz ya I know when Eren's birthday actually was, this was something I had done at that time. Just use your imagination, okay kiddies?

Eren's POV

 

I really hate alarm clocks. I hate Titans, Jean, exams that I haven't studied for (all of them), and alarm clocks. So when I glanced over at the familiar yet harsh red numbers, I was pleased to find that it was 11:00 in the morning and that I hadn't been woken by the demonic device hours earlier.

I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled out into the small kitchen of the apartment I shared with Armin to discover him making pancakes. Upon closer inspection, he was adding a generous amount of chocolate chips to the batter, and heard my stomach let out a groan.

"Oh, good. I can't believe that you have your alarm clock set to wake you up on weekends, especially today, so I went ahead and shut it off for you. Just remember to turn it back on tonight." Armin didn't even turn, just continued bustling about the kitchen preparing breakfast. "I thought that you may actually wake up a bit later, so you'll have to wait a bit before I'm done."

I nodded and plopped down at the table. Rubbing my eye sleepily, I vaguely remembered that today was important. Vaguely. Of course it came crashing down upon me with incredible force that it was my birthday, and that tonight Levi would be taking me out, when Armin set out the food and sat across from me.

"Happy birthday, Eren!" I grinned at him, and thanked him, and then my morning continued on much as a normal Sunday morning would when had I slept in so late.

I lounged around for hours streaming Sherlock and on occasion getting up to raid the fridge again. It was a good life. At about 4:15, however, Armin shut my laptop in my face. 

"Oh my God, Eren, how do you forget the only thing you could think about just the night before? Knowing how long you'll spend trying to fix your hair, you should've started getting ready like five hours ago." I grumbled about the hair comment, unconsciously running a hand through the mop of hair and grimacing at the thought of once more trying to tame it.

I was about to finally get dressed for the day in something nice when I remembered Levis obsession with cleanliness, and decided to take a shower beforehand. After I was completely ready, I still had about ten minutes left before Levi came to pick me up, so I grabbed my current sketchbook to fill the time.

I had actually been really into drawing ever since I started this life, and was pretty damn good at it by now. Though even I had to admit the creepiness of having three notebooks dedicated to drawing Levi, four counting the one I was holding. The others were already full, and I drew Levi from both of his lives. Now I worked on one with me in it as well, a simple sketch of him and I cuddled up together under a tree. Levi was reading a book as I fiddled with his hair, and I had added a touch of mischief to my own eyes when I drew myself planting flowers into Levi's soft locks.

I was so engrossed in the drawing that I didn't notice when Levi arrived, or when he suddenly appeared over my shoulder, until I felt, rather than heard, his voice by my ear.

"Not bad. But I don't think that you'd have the courage to be giving me a fucking flower crown." I spun around, dropping the notebook before hurriedly rushing to pick it up again and put it away. "Mm. You got other pictures of me in there?" Levi wandered over to where I had set down the notebook, directly on top of the pile of other Levi-filled sketchbooks.

"N-no! ...umm... No. I don't have any other pictures of you." I tried to gather up all the evidence when Levi raised an eyebrow, but he easy snatched the notebooks from my hands.

"Four of them? Jesus, do you have no life other than me?" It was just a tease, but my cheeks burnt bright with shame. Levi flipped through them as I stood a few feet away, head down, knowing that Levi's interest had been piqued and that the only way out of this was to let him have his way. I looked up to watch his reactions, and was pleased to see something that was not quite a smirk but not quite a smile, either. Looking at him now, I admired how he looked in the suit he was wearing, my eyes flicking from place to place before I finally looked back at his face. I had to admit, my boyfriend was hot. Beyond that, actually, and I wondered if I had done him justice with any of the pictures.

When he was done flipping through the notebooks, Levi placed them back on my desk with something that was most definitely a smirk. He walked over to me and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before continuing out the door, looking very pleased with himself, and I wondered if he really liked that I drew him so often that much.

"Come on, brat. I have reservations." I grunted with annoyance a being called a brat, but followed Levi out of my room anyway. We were leaving the apartment when Levi leaned back in to call out to my best friend.

"Oi, Arlert! He got a curfew?" Armin laughed, and I face palmed and looked at the floor.

"Mikasa will be here by 7:30. Other than that, doesn't matter. Have a nice dinner you two." Armin waved to us as Levi dragged me to his waiting car, and I tried not to show how excited I was to be going on my first date with Levi in this life.

When I tried to open up the passenger side door, however, my hands were batted away by Levi. I looked at him in confusion before I felt a blush rise to my cheeks when he opened the door for me and waited for me to get in. I slid in hurriedly, not looking at Levi in case he decided to do something even more embarrassing, and he shut the door before going around to the other side of the car and getting in himself. I could practically hear the smirk on Levi's face, and I did hear muffled laughter. I looked up, only to look back down again when I saw that Armin had been watching us from the window. 

"Eren." I looked over at Levi, face still red, and he leaned over to place a kiss on the crown of my head. "Happy birthday."

I nodded weakly, face even more red but a smile on my lips. I wondered if it was possible to become any more like a tomato when I heard Levi chuckle at my embarrassment, and looked away again. Levi leaned back into his seat and started up the car, looking very smug. 

After a few minutes of silence between us, I reached my hand over to where Levi's was resting on the shift stick. He jolted a bit in surprise, but I caught the faint wisp of a smile on his lips, and he didn't protest the contact. I hesitated to continue at first, not sure how he would respond. 

Ever since I got my memories of our last life, the back part of my mind had been thinking about everything Levi and I had done together, innocent or not. To tell the truth, there were some things that made me feel... Not like the virgin I was supposed to be in this life. Thinking about it now, I felt heat rise to my cheeks, and wondered if I could get away with trying my luck. I leaned over across the console to place small kisses and nips at Levi's neck, hoping for some sort of reaction. He shuddered, then tried to push me off.

"Tch. You shouldn't distract someone who's driving." But I leaned back in, determined now to have a bit of fun. I moved up his neck to just under his ear, biting down a bit harder when I reached there and smiling victoriously when Levi let out a soft moan. He didn't push me off this time, and I could tell he was having a hard time trying to tell me to stop.

"Brat. You keep this up and I'll end up not taking you to dinner." I leaned into his warmth and kissed his jawline, happy with the small tightening of his knuckles on the steering wheel and the noticeable haze in his eyes.

"I wouldn't mind that so much if we ended up doing something else. I know of something you wouldn't mind doing." 

"Someone." I laughed softly at the correction before Levi cleared his throat and pushed me back, staring at the road and refusing to look at me. "No. I'm taking you to dinner. You have to be back by 7:30, and I don't believe we could make it back before then if we.. Did anything else. So no." 

I whined softly and tried to reattach myself to him, but Levi pushed me back. He gave me a warning look, and I leaned back with a huff. Of course I knew he was right, but I could still try. As if reading my mind, Levi shot me a glance before clearing his throat again.

"Nice try, though." I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes, only to be greeted by a soft chuckle coming from Levi. 

The rest of the drive was uneventful, filled only by my accounts of who did what to annoy me recently and Levi's sarcastic comments. When we arrived, I half expected Levi to come around and open my door for me, so I quickly got out myself to avoid further embarrassment. We headed inside, and as it turned out Levi did indeed have a reservation, and I wondered at just how hard it was to get that. 

The building itself was large, and with just one glance I could tell it was expensive. Damn, Levi sure had made a fortune to afford this kind of thing. I made a mental note to ask him to explain his business to me at some point. I was glad that Armin had made sure I was wearing proper dress clothes, and had helped me make my tie look not like a knotted mess, because the whole place practically screamed fancy. 

When we were seated, Levi briefly glanced at the menu before putting it aside, and I looked questioningly at him. 

"This place is good, so anything you choose you'll probably like, but I prefer to stick with one thing." I nodded and turned back to my menu and finding something that looked pretty good.

After a waiter had come to take our orders, Levi turned to me.

"You ordered that just because you could pronounce it, didn't you?" I gave him a guilty smile, and Levi returned it with a smirk. "Lucky for you that one's really good, but next time just ask for help so you don't end up ordering shit." 

"Must you make shit jokes in a fancy restaurant?" The look of amusement on Levi's face vanished as he deadpanned, and I groaned inwardly.

"Yes." I shook my head at him, pretending to be disappointed in him but of course not in the least. 

"One of these days, you'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere because Mikasa decided that you were a bad influence. Then where will your shit jokes take you?"

"Well, seeing as we both know Ackerman couldn't kill me, it wouldn't matter." I raised an eyebrow, thinking of my sister's power when she was feeling particularly protective. "Oh for fucks sake, give me some credit here! Your sister may be damn good, but she wasn't Humanity's Strongest."

"Well if you're still Humanity's Strongest, that means that I'm still it's Last Hope, so lets not go down that road of inescapable doom shall we?" I laughed at the grimace on Levi's face, remembering the countless times when I had wondered what I had done to deserve such a title.

"No kidding. More like you were Humanity's Most Incapable. I swear I saved your ass at least once or twice a mission. Even when we weren't outside the walls I still had to drag you out of trouble on multiple occasions." I laughed before giving Levi a teasing smile.

"Aww, but you never let me die once. Lost a couple limbs, but with Titan powers it didn't matter much. You loved me so much~" Levi rolled his eyes, but we were interrupted with the arrival of our food.

The food was great, but the company was better. I had always loved how unguarded Levi was around me, and we teased back and forth before we were both done and heading back to the car. We walked out in comfortable silence, and somehow his hand had found mine and laced our fingers together. When we got in the car, Levi didn't turn the engine on right away. He turned to me, the laughter that had been in his eyes previously from our banter gone. I inhaled sharply, looking now into eyes that were clear and crisp and beautiful.

He reached around his seat and pulled a small box from the backseat and handed it to me, waiting for me to open it. I glanced at him before lifting the lid and gasping.

Inside was a ring cut from a gem that shined pure white in the sun, and a softer yet still glowing white in shadow. It was shaped as one of the Wings of Freedom, and I felt myself blush heavily when Levi reached over and slid it on my finger.

"It's..not a proposal, just so you know. I have the other one here," as he spoke he slid it on, blue glinting off it in spectacular rays, "and it's just a promise. I waited this whole life to find you again, and when I did I almost messed things up irrevocably. When you look at this, I just want... I want you to remember that I'm not letting you go again." This whole time Levi had refused to meet my eyes, and he looked at me now with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks.

I flung myself over the center console of the car and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, burying myself in his comforting warmth and faint scent of soap. I felt my eyes water with pure joy, and I realized that I had somehow managed to get myself into Levi's lap with my back against part of the steering wheel. Levi pushed back the seat so that I didn't honk the horn, and wrapped his arms around me just as tightly as I held him.

"Tch, brat, are you crying?" I pulled back just enough to look down at him, smiling when I noticed him try to sit straighter to ease the height difference.

"No. I'm crying of happiness, there's a difference. And it's your fault." I leaned down to kiss him, humming into his lips when I was met with their familiar softness. He ran a tongue over my bottom lip, soon following it with a soft nip. I opened my mouth eagerly, not even trying to fight for dominance with the shorter man.

His tongue immediately began its exploration of my mouth, and I instinctively joined in a playful dance with our tongues. The kiss grew deeper, and I felt myself begin to grow hard when Levi pulled away somewhat abruptly.

"Oi, I said not tonight. I swear you're more hormonal than a fucking 15 year old. And that's saying something, you were pretty damn horny half the time when we first met." Levi wiped a the saliva that had connected us, and I felt myself turn bright red.

"That was you're fault too. Even if your short, a body that perfect should be illegal, I swear." The slight blush that had been present before on Levi's cheeks was back, even with the short comment. He leaned up to give me another kiss, shorter than the last but not in the least less pleasant.

Eventually I ended up back in my own seat, fiddling with my ring, as Levi started driving me home. The ring was really beautiful, and it fit perfect-

"Say, how'd you know what size ring to get?" I looked at Levi curiously, and to my surprise I saw a sudden sadness in his eyes.

"Eren, I... When we remember our past lives, not one of us has been able to remember our own death. The only way we know is if someone tells us. You...died before me. I don't know how it happened, I turned around for ten seconds to help take down a few abnormal Titans, and when I turned back to see if you were okay....well, you weren't. No one told me how exactly it happened, and I never asked. But right before that mission...I had been planning to ask you to marry me." 

I wanted to be happy with what he said, that he loved me so much in our past lives that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but when I looked at him he was crying softly. He pulled off the road into an abandoned parking lot and took his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, I just... I can't drive right now. Just give me a second..." I quietly got out of the car and went around to the driver's side and pulled open his door. He looked up at me before undoing his seatbelt and letting me pull him into an embrace. He melted into it, and I briefly thought of how perfectly his body fit against mine. After a few minutes, Levi lifted his head and wiped his face off with a sleeve, not even bothering to make a comment about filth.

"Tch. Shitty brat, now you made me cry...." He nuzzled his head under my neck, and I smiled softly at how cuddly he could be.

"I'm not a brat. But... I'm sorry. I really am." I squeezed Levi closer to me, and I heard him make a soft appreciative noise. "Thank you. For the ring, for telling me all that, for all of it. Definitely best birthday ever." Levi pulled back to look me in the eyes, and I returned the soft smile on his lips.

"Glad you liked it. I liked the part where I discovered your secret stash of Me drawings." I felt my face turn bright red, and Levi's smile turned into a smirk. "Speaking if which, I believe I have part of your collection taped up over my desk. I may or may not have removed it from your folder when I was cleaning up after you...that...night..." 

"Hey! I was looking for that! What the hell, Levi?!" When Levi chuckled, I could feel it echo through my chest, and I leaned into the source of the sound until he pulled away reluctantly.

"Come on Eren. If you're home late, I don't think your sister will allow you out of the house for more than an hour with me." We both got back in the car and drove the last few blocks to Armin's and mine apartment. When I got out of the car, Levi did too, and he walked over to me to say goodbye.

"You know, something occurred to me. If you were going to propose to me in our last life, why didn't you now?" I asked when Levi had made his way towards me.

"Don't get cocky, brat. Though it may feel like we've known each other much longer, in this life we've only known each other for about a month. And despite what I said at dinner, Ackerman terrifies me." Levi shuddered, and I bit back my laughter.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I was still struggling with laughter, wishing I had caught his admittance to being human on tape.

"The fact that if you were to get married to someone you've known for a month, especially me, she would flip her shit. Then I would end up dead in a ditch." This time I did laugh, then leaned in to give Levi a kiss. It wasn't that long, but I cherished it all the same, and only straightened myself up and stepped back when I heard an impatient tap at a window. 

Before responding, however, motion from Levi caught my eye and I realized that he had been standing on his tip toes to reach me. I felt a smile take hold of my face, and I once again was biting down laughter. 

"You could just bend down a bit more," Levi let out in a huff, looking both slightly embarrassed and annoyed. I reached over and ruffled his hair, which resulted in me receiving a death glare from Levi. 

"Can't pull that one on me now. I've seen that so many times I'm practically immune!" Levi rolled his eyes at my boast, but I knew he was happy. It was the small changes in his expression that gave away the most, and in all the time I down with him in my past life I had learned how to read every one of them, even when he had his guard up.

At this particular moment, though, he didn't, and decided to give me a last hug before leaving. Again the thought of how perfectly Levi fit against me crossed my mind, and I smiled as I breathed in his scent and rested my head on his. I gave him a last squeeze before letting go and waving to him as I entered the building to confront Armin and Mikasa about spying on me and my boyfriend.

When I looked back one last time, I glimpsed a smile toying with the corner of Levi's mouth as he got into his car, and I saw him glimpse down at the ring on his right hand. I found myself unconsciously fiddling with my own, and closed the door to spend the rest of my birthday with the other two people held close to my heart.


	12. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of filler, sorry. This takes place directly after Eren gets back from his birthday dinner with Levi.

Armin's POV

 

When Eren came into the living room, I tried to look as innocent as possible. There was no hiding that Mikasa had been spying on the two of them, as she had interrupted them when they were kissing goodbye, but I could pretend to be uninvolved.

It didn't work.

"Okay, who's the genius that suggested to spy on me and my boyfriend on my birthday? Mikasa?" Mikasa flinched at the word 'boyfriend', and flinched again when her name was mentioned.

"Hey, Armin was in on it too! And I have a right to make sure that he's not, I don't know, sexually abusing you! He could even pull out a pair of blades again an-"

"MIKASA!" I couldn't help it. I don't raise my voice often, and I can't ever remember doing so at Eren or Mikasa, so both of them were stunned into silence.

Eren looked at the floor and tried to pretend that the reference to the night Corporal Levi almost killed him hadn't bugged him, but Mikasa and I could tell that it had. Said she-demon looked at the floor in shame and pulled her red scarf over her mouth and nose. I looked at the two of my friends, both looking the very opposite of happy, in silence.

"It's 'kay. I know you mean well. Just, try to have some sense about when and when not to butt in. Armin, help her refrain herself. Please. I was having a very nice time." Mikasa and I nodded weakly, and I noticed Eren fiddling with a ring on his hand. It looked almost like the Wings of Freedom, but...

"What's that?" All the shame was gone from Mikasa now, and I wondered how she could so quickly go back to being overprotective sister in less than a second.

"What's what?" Eren frowned at Mikasa, and I smiled softly to myself. It was pretty easy to guess where Eren had gotten the ring, and the fact that he reached for it subconsciously was honestly very sweet. It was the things like that that reminded me just how much Eren and Corporal cared for each other.

"The thing. On your hand." Eren glanced down at the ring, still frowning.

"...A ring, maybe?" Now that Eren knew what Mikasa was talking about, his voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Obviously. Where'd you get it?" I knew Mikasa didn't really need to ask these questions, but who would she be if not Eren's overbearing mother hen?

"Levi." Another smile as I heard the smugness in his voice; Eren was very obviously happy with the ring.

"And?" Eren sighed loudly, and I leaned over to Mikasa and whispered in her ear to reassure her that the ring was not what she feared.

"Chill out. It's on his right hand, not his left, so it wasn't a proposal if that's what has you so worked up. Likely just a Promise Ring, which is not only sweet but not surprising. Just let it go and let's celebrate his birthday." I backed away as I was saying the last sentence, and the look on Eren's face told me that he hasn't heard any of it and was mildly curious, but I shook my head at him and he shrugged.

Mikasa stared at Eren and his ring for a few more seconds, but then she shook her head and we began the party. Mikasa had made a cake, and we had pooled our money to get tickets so that we could take him to a concert of a band he had been flipping out about. Eren loved both the tickets and the cake (of which he had three pieces) and gave us both multiple hugs, so with that our crappy movie marathon began.

Of course, Eren would argue that they were perfectly good movies, but that would result in a popcorn war between the three of us, and none of us wanted to get up to make more so he ignored our complaints. Through the first half of one of the movies I was distracted with thoughts of Eren's ring, and I realized why it looked a bit off. It was only the white wing, a beautiful gem that had shined in a way that took my mind off how the blue one was missing. The Corporal must have the other one...

Before passing out at 3:00 in the morning while we were watching Princess Bride, I wondered briefly how Corporal knew what size ring to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in no way dissing Princess Bride, I love that movie. Anyway, sorry it was short.


	13. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter!

Levi's POV

Another day, another reason to quit. Quit and go far, far away from Erwin. Though I had never treated him like a commander, even in our past life, he treated me like his subordinate every day. Normally I would ignore it and do the paperwork dumped on me (who happens to actually have a higher status in this life than him), but this was too far.

"No. That's my weekend off." 

"Levi, you were the one requested! If you ignore him, he'll probably shut us down- you know he's threatened to in the past." I put down my book and looked up at my previous commander with the deadliest stare I could muster before replying, and when I did my voice came out both annoyed and just as deadly as my glare.

"Fuck off. You know he couldn't shut us down if he wanted to, and you'd do just as well with such a simple task." I was about to pick up my book again, expecting Erwin to leave, but he didn't. I leaned back in my chair and looked back up at him, waiting for him to give me some sort of half-assed threat to get me to work.

"No, you know what, not this time. Listen here, Levi: we work directly under the President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and about 15 other people of importance. You can't keep turning up your nose when you think your too good for a job. This man is a mafia leader, and he asked for you. You had better comply, or so help me, I'll give Hanji your phone number. It's only fair, anyway, since she forced hers upon me. Don't know how you've avoided her this whole life." The last part came out a mutter just loud enough for me to hear, but I ignored it and focused on trying to shoo him away.

"No. I said no before, and that answer stands." This time I did pick up my book and pretended that Erwin had left the room. Of course, he couldn't just let me do that, oh no. That would be far to easy.

"Why? What on earth is so important that you can spare a single weekend to take care of some missing files? Knowing you, you'd have it done in a day anyway." I sighed heavily, wondering why I had thought that starting this business with Erwin had been a good idea.

It wasn't a company, not quite, but we didn't really name it so it stayed 'the company'. It was honestly better if it didn't have a name anyway, seeing as we rarely ever did something legal. Names were labels, the shackles that bind you down. I couldn't stand to think of becoming some every-day paper pusher in this life, so I had recruited Erwin and we had started this. 

We originally just worked for the President, but apparently word go out that a group of especially skilled people were accepting jobs of anything from planting incriminating information to assassinations and we were soon overwhelmed with more and more requests. That's how I ended up with a higher standing than Erwin: our ranks were based purely upon skill and demand, and I was far above his level. 

Unfortunately, this meant that even back when I was still in high school I received a shit ton of requests a month, most of them with a small time frame. And currently recovering some files was the last thing on my mind. 

"I have plans." I set the book down yet again, sighing with frustration because I knew that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on it know anyways. I fiddled with the ring on my hand, the tiniest hint of a smile pulling at one corner of my mouth as I thought about the promise I had made to Eren to take him to see a movie he was excited about. It looked like absolute shit to me, but Eren practically exploded when he found out the release date and had bugged me to take him until I had given in.

"You have plans. You actually have plans for this upcoming weekend. Levi, I'm not able to schedule something with you be it a month in advance or the night before. What the hell- oh." I watched the realization reach his face with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Eren?" I remained silent, but that was the only answer he needed. "I cannot believe that your trying to turn down a mafia boss to go on a date with your subordina-"

"He's not my subordinate. That was the past, and last time I checked we lived in the present. And no, I'm not trying to turn him down, I did turn him down." I hated when he tried to call Eren that... Made me feel like I was doing something illegal. 

Not that I would care, but I had felt enough guilt about falling for the young Titan boy in my care in our last life before I had found out he liked me too. Thinking about I now, I felt a wave of thankfulness that I wasn't ten years older than him in this life. 

"Levi, you know I mean no harm when I say this, but have you seriously thought about how turning down these jobs will hurt your reputation? Not to mention the business..." I shot a glare at him, and he raised his hands in both defeat and defense. "Fine, fine. I'll get someone else to do it. Have fun frolicking." And before I could react, he left.

"Shit-eating bastard," I muttered under my breath. Honestly, the nerve of that guy. 

Not that he wasn't supportive, no, he had been understanding with me ever since he found me in this life. His first question to me was whether Eren hadn't remembered, rejected me, or not been found yet. Apparently he expected to find him two steps behind me like always, like some sort of fucking dog. Though, I had to admit, I hadn't really minded Eren's nickname of 'the Corporal's Dog'. It had been especially nice when I had figured my feelings to be unrequited, but after that I had preferred to think of him and I to he equals.

Well, as equal as I can get with an incompetent klutz. 

Anyway, when Erwin had found out that I hadn't found Eren in this life, he immediately realized that it was a sour spot for me and left it alone. And when I had...hurt...him, he really had tried to help me. It's been weeks since Eren's birthday, and I between now and then, Erwin had decided to point out every single tiny difference in my behavior- going so far as to count the amount of times I smiled. He could be as bad as that Shitty Glasses, but he was there for me. And I can't think of a single time he hadn't been.

~~~  
Eren's POV [that weekend]

 

I looked at the clock. I looked back at the sketch pad. I looked back at the clock. Damn. I looked back at the picture of the abnormal I had been drawing. I gave up.

I threw the drawing across the room, letting out a totally calm and very manly shout of exasperation- which in no way sounded like a miniature tantrum. The picture had actually been quite good, and I was enjoying drawing it, but time was moving backwards I swear. I ran a hand through my hair before collapsing onto my bed face first.

I had almost wanted to draw Levi again, but remembering last time I did that while waiting for him to arrive I quickly put that idea away. So I had taken out yet another sketchbook (seems like Armin always kept a couple blank ones for me, praise The Lord) and had started filling it with pictures of anything from my last life. Titans, 3D Maneuver Gear, the houses, and of course my friends and squad members. That was over two hours ago, and now with half an hour remaining my hand was cramped up and I was getting seriously restless. 

Armin was out, so I couldn't bug him, and if I called or even texted Mikasa she'd probably tell me not to be such a baby and to just sit patiently while I wait. That, or she would scold me for spending my free time with 'the Corporal'. I sighed, thoughts now totally focused on trying to figure out how to get her to be more accepting of my feelings for Levi and our relationship.

I was about to fetch the notepad and put it away when I heard a know at the front door. I grinned, knowing that the only person who knocked as if they were avoiding contact with the door was half an hour early. I practically skipped to the front door, opening it and wasting no time before pouncing onto the short man. 

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, nuzzling at the top of his head and inhaling slightly. My happy grin turned into one of amusement as he squirmed and made a small noise before sighing and going limp.

"Oi, get off me. Eren. Oi, Eren!" I gave him one last squeeze before letting go and stepping back into the apartment and motioning for Levi to do the same.

"Ya know, you could use the doorbell. It's more audible." I laughed softly at the immediate change in expression as his features turned themselves towards disgust.

"Tch. As if I would touch something that literally every other fucking person uses. Besides, you were probably sitting at the door waiting and listening for me anyway, not like you had much trouble hearing it." I felt my face to red, and I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Was not. I happened to be in my room." I looked away and tried to look up-itty, but I looked back when I heard him give a low chuckle.

"C'mere. And bend down a bit." I did as he asked me to, and hummed happily when his mouth found mine. I felt his lips twitch upwards, and I pulled back to look at his smile. I could tell that he was annoyed with me for doing so, and I placed a kiss on the tip of his nose and ran my fingers through his hair to replace the annoyance with another smile.

"Someone sure is in a good mood today. I got two smiles out of you and you've yet to be here five minutes." Levi stretched upwards, standing on the tips of his toes to place another quick kiss on my lips before dropping back down and starting towards the kitchen table. 

"Shut up, brat. I'm just glad Erwin let me keep this weekend free. Seems like I do nothing but work and school lately... Anyway, I meant to get here earlier, sorry." I followed Levi to the table and sat down across from him, sending him a questioning look.

"Idiot. I was supposed to help you study once a week, and while we get together more often that we rarely ever do any work. I'm not taking you to that movie until we do something at least a little productive." I groaned, but went to fetch my backpack and pulled out the papers from what I had supposed to be working on all week. Levi glanced at the due date before sighing and I grabbed a laptop and switched over to sitting next to him.

I shouldn't have been surprised, but with Levi's help and instruction, we got almost everything done in just under 45 minutes. And seeing as five of those minutes may or may not have been spent discussing the stupidity of panda bears I'd say that we did pretty well.

The ride to the theaters was uneventful, and so was the movie itself (though we got scolded by the person behind us to whispering to each other too much), but after we stepped outside I practically collapsed.

"Holy shit, Eren, are you okay? What the hell just happened? Do you need a doctor? Should I be calling 9-1-1?!" I waved a hand to silence him, using him for support as I tried to stay upright. 

"It's fine. It was just some passing nausea, it's gone now. I haven't had anything to drink in, oh jeez, 24 hours? And then suddenly being hit by the heat when we stepped outside... I'm fine. Really. I drink would be nice, though..." Levi sighed, obviously relieved, and pulled me over into the shade of a tree.

"Stupid brat. Have you really not had anything to drink? I know we didn't have time before the movie started to get something since we were kinda late, but you should've said something. Here, rest here a moment, I'm going to go back inside and buy a water for you." I nodded weakly, leaning up a against the tree and sending a grateful smile Levi's way. 

He started to walk back to theater, and was almost at the doors when something caught his gaze. He froze, staring into the passing crowd. He paled considerably, and his eyes went dead as I watched him mouth a single word.

Petra.

And then, out of nowhere, a squeal and movement. Someone had knocked Levi to the ground, was leaning over him, was...was giving Levi a kiss as he did nothing to push her off of him. He looked as if he had gone into shock, but no, because now he reached out and touched her face, his thin spidery fingers dancing across her neck and cheek. He mouthed the word again, mouthed her name again.

Petra.

She leaned down again, kissed him again, and suddenly I wasn't leaning against the tree anymore. I couldn't process what had happened, what was happening, didn't understand when I pulled the two of them apart. I didn't know what I had done when I had pulled Levi off the ground, when I had slapped him. I only saw the red mark left behind as I peered out at the suddenly silent world through increasingly blurry eyes.

And then the sound of my hand hitting Levi reached my ears and the world exploded in color and sound again, a tear fell off my cheek. I turned away, I couldn't look at him. It wasn't his fault, right? He didn't ask for this girl to come up and..and kiss him. He didn't want that, right? It was her. Her fault. Her fault...

There was a blooming red spot on her cheek now, too. She looked so surprised and scared, why did she look scared. Stop it.. Stop.. STOP IT! I raised my hand again, another tear fell, the world was quiet again. There was a cold grip on my wrist though, too strong to escape and hit the girl who kissed Levi and looked scared... She was worthless. Worthless! She was yet another trampled flower, someone with fear behind their eyes where their passion and courage should've been burning. She was a trampled.. A trampled... She was DEAD! Levi, do you understand? 

Why was it Levi who was holding my wrist, he needed to let me go, another tear was about to fall... I twisted away, I turned and ran and ran and ran into the forest behind the theater. I ran and ran and... I flew in between the trees, turning to avoid branches and collisions and then stopping and... Falling...

Another tear.

Another tear.

Another tear...

The world had sound again. There were the birds, they were singing, they were happy, life was good.

I collapsed in on myself, silent sobs raking my body. I would not turn around when I heard the running footsteps behind me, not when I heard my name, not when-

I turned around. There had been...the hand in my shoulder.... I turned around. There was Levi. There he was... He looked so shocked, so scared, so mad. It was nice seeing such expression on his face. Looked nice. Another tear.

He was cradling me now, whispering my name over and over again into my ear and rocking back and forth as he held me. Another tear. I let out a small hiccup, the tears weren't there anymore. Levi had wiped them away with his handkerchief. That was nice if him... Now I can see... My vision isn't blurred.

"Oh my god, Eren! Eren, please, please, talk to me! Please! Eren, I beg of you! Eren...Eren please!" He was so close... Did I always like being so close to him? Did I always notice? Was this normal? 

Did it matter now?

"....you...Levi, you-hic-you...what were-hic-doing...? That was a-hic-that was...-hic-" I buried my face in his neck, closing my eyes. I'm glad they're dry now... I can see...

"Eren! Oh m-thank you! Thank you! You..spoke..to..me... Thank god... Thank... Oh, Eren..." We sat like that for who know how long, and eventually we had both calmed down enough to pull back and look the other in the eyes as we threw our daggers, as we threw our hurt into each other.

"Why did you hit her?" I drew back farther, standing up and stepping back, using a tree for support.

"Why? Why did I hit her, Levi? Why was she there? Why was she kissing you? She was afraid... She was dead. And she was kissing you....why? L-Coporal...Coporal." I saw the pain in his eyes, I felt so had but I couldn't stop, the words kept pouring out. "She was dead! But I'm not! I'm not dead, so why was she kissing you? Why the hell didn't you do anything to stop her?!" I drew in a shaky breath, eyes wide and giving the seemingly broken man before me a look that probably seemed half angry and half desperate...

"Eren, no...don't do this... Please don't do this to me..." I loved the hurt in his eyes, the pain that he was so obviously feeling. Oh, how he deserved it... This man...

"What about this, Corporal?" I used the title with disgust, and as I did I grabbed at the ring on my hand. I took it off and threw it by his feet, watching as he looked at it with what was most certainly a broken and dead stare. "What about that? I thought that that meant...I thought you...you... So why the hell didn't you stop her? Why? W-hy...?" My voice cracked and was then gone, no, I wasn't crying...I was simply staring. Staring as Levi picked up the ring I had thrown at him, eyes down. He looked at it for a long while, and then something sparked.

Something inside him sparked a fire, one that was blazing within a second, and then his eyes were on me, but they weren't quite broken anymore. Not quite. He looked at me and he stood up and he walked over to me. He reached for my hand, the hand that now had a scratch mark from yanking off the ring in a rush. He held the hand and the ring as if he were going to replace the ring on my finger, but he stopped and looked at me dead in the eyes.

"You're right. She was dead. And so were you. And so was I. We were all dead, and now we're alive and we're allowed to be afraid. I'm afraid, Eren. I'm afraid every waking moment that I'm going to mess up again, that your going to run away from me... I'm so scared. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt you, because if I did then I would be in twice as much pain as you. You have no idea what I went through my whole entire life, waiting for you as I turned every corner, as I entered every room. And then I found you, and I hurt you. And now I walk in the shoes of another man, someone I used to be.

"I pretend, Eren, and I do it not for myself or for the world but for you. I don't want you to see me cry, I don't want you to see me break. So I pretend every day that I'm Humanity's Strongest, a man with no fears and no hesitation and who can do anything. I pretend to be perfect, because that's who I want you to see me as, the single man who turned out perfect. Saying it aloud, I realize that that in itself would be a flaw. If I was the one exception, that means I'm the one they messed up, right? But it doesn't matter now. I'm done pretending.

"Look at me now, Eren. Weak and scared and in pain because I hurt you. She was dead. And I, well, I was sad. To the day I died I kept her Wings of Freedom in my breast pocket. I loved her. But... Eren, I never cried for her. And, now... I..." I stood stock still, watching the tears fall down Levi's face, one after another, silent and not unlike the tears that had fallen from my eyes not so long ago. 

"Eren... Please, let me put this ring on you... Please.... That's why I put it there in the first place, remember? I said...I said that I wasn't letting you go again. I didn't push her off me, I didn't react because I couldn't... I didn't know how. I'm sorry, Eren. Please.... Please let me put it back..." His eyes were shut tight now, trying so hard to suppress the tears running down his face.

I reached up with my free hand and wiped at one of the tears, unable to speak. I pressed my head to Levi, feeling each shudder as he tried so desperately to look less afraid. I knew that if I tried to speak, all that would come out would be broken noises and incoherent stutters, but... I could do this.

I looked down at his hands, still posed to replace the ring. I used my free hand to pry up the hand gripping my right hand, lacing or fingers together as I moved my hand to let the ring pass over the scratch on my finger and rest in its proper place. Levi laced those fingers together as well, and leaned his head onto my chest.

"Thank you. Thank you, Eren." We stood standing there for what could have been hours, but after so long I removed my hands from Levi's and wrapped them around him to give him a hug before backing away. Levi looked terrified at the loss of warmth, but I started walking back towards the theater, out of the woods.

"Sorry, Levi, but I really do need that drink..." I looked back to see a purely shocked expression on his face, and I stopped to admire the lack of barriers usually in place. 

"...right. Sorry." So he caught up to me and took my hand before we continued out of the woods to rehydrate me. I was glad, I realize now that this was probably the reason I couldn't cry that long before running out of tears.

When we walked out of the theater, I had downed three bottles of water (much to Levi's both amusement and concern for my bladder), and neither of us was much surprised when we heard Levi's name being called.

"Levi! Oh my god, I've been looking all over the place for you! I couldn't just let you go after finding you..." I could see that she wanted to lean in to Levi and give him a kiss, so I stepped closer behind him and wrapped my arms around him before resting my head on his shoulder. Levi stiffened in surprise at first, but when he relaxed I knew he was smiling.

"Ehhh...? Who's this? Levi?" Levi regarded Petra silently for a moment before answering, and I wondered how he planned on responding.

"Petra... I really did love you. But that was a long time ago, and... I'm sorry. But I've found someone else who makes me laugh and cry and smile and feel pain, and I can't lose them. I'm sorry Petra, but I... I don't love you like I once did. Please... Please don't try to find me after this." I have Levi a squeeze, and I felt him lean back into me.

Petra look at us both, no emotion, no reaction. I wondered if she was that upset, but she smiled.

"You guys... I can see how much you two love each other. It's okay Levi. I still love you, but that means that I only want you to be happy. I would rather it be me that brings you that joy, that reason for living, but I don't think that that was ever me. Not now, not... Before. I'm glad I got to try, though." She hugged herself, still giving us a sad smile, before turning her gaze to me. "Take care of him. He's a keeper." She said the last bit with a wink, and I found myself smiling back at her.

"Thanks, Petra." And with those final words from Levi, Petra turned around and walked away, the sad smile never leaving her face.

 

FINIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~  
> Haha.... Yaaaaaaasaaaaa. Anyway, hope you guys liked this. I can't think of anything else I could do to keep this story going, so, ya. The end.
> 
> PLEASE READ: I was thinking about making a prequel to this fic about Eren and Levi first falling for each other up to Eren's death- IT IS HAPPENING! It'll be called Can You See Me? And I'll have the first chapter up sometime today, so please be on the look out for it! I will reorder the series, so this will be the second one. I would go crazy if the prequel was the second work in the series... -_-'

**Author's Note:**

> Another chapter up tomorrow, and I promise it gets better.


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